re: So, who was really at fault (or most at fault), in Mrs. Doubtfire?

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That is one movie that comes off a lot differently when you watch it as an adult versus as a kid.

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yep

Watching it growing up I always hated Sally Field's character but I watched it again a couple months ago and completely empathized with her

Daniel completely undermined her and played the good guy fun dad role. The kids didn't need a friend, they needed an actual father