re: ughhhh what do I do

Sometimes’s situations arise and I hope you decide to help her out. Sounds like she is in a bad situation and having her mother pass is a tough thing to cope with. It sounds like you and your wife have tried to put yourselves in a position not to have parental responsibilities and I commend you for that but it’s family. I’d step up and help anyway you can that is reasonable. It can be very gratifying to help others in need. As you grow old you may be the one in need and dependent on her.