Greek Tailgating Ban

quote:

---

The Daily Reveille

---

The pantheon of relevant news

quote:

---

Due to the Greek travel ban, we couldn’t risk making the crusade to campus last fall. We couldn’t watch our beloved Tigers devour the Syracuseans, long-time rivals of the Greeks. It is no accident that the Trojans of Troy upset the Tigers when our Greek armada was barred from pulling our Trojan Horse RV into the concrete fortress of Death Valley.

---

quote:

---

This travel ban on Greek refugees is blatantly unconstitutional. Its effects on our family have been nothing short of a Big Fat Greek Tragedy.

---

quote:

---

As a dyed-in-the-wool Tiger fan, I will not submit to the anti-Greek hysteria currently undermining the Greek pillars of our Democracy. And I will not let the xenophobic leaders of our Academy drive our family asunder.

---

quote:

---

If the oligarchs at LSU want to engage in a Persian-esque overthrow of our Big Fat Greek Tailgate, they can do so over My Big Fat Dead Greek Body.

---

quote:

---

Contrary to the negative press we’ve received as of late, Greeks pose no existential threat to the Tiger Nation. Leaving aside a few regrettable centuries of our history, Greeks are a peace-loving people. Most of us condemn radical Greek terrorist groups like Hummus.

---

What a horrible way to frame your argument.

I’m no expert on Ancient Greece or Greek Tragedies or comedies, but I’m pretty sure this is satire, not a full-throated defense of Frat culture.

Dumbass Greeks ruined tailgating on the Parade Grounds. If they could have kept under control then it wouldn't have been a problem.

:doyouknowwhomydaddyis?:

The Fraternity/Greek privilege has negative accretive value to LSU football.

There are not people stopping by their tailgates. That's a joke, they pick fights with those folks and get their asses kicked.

Even with prime seating, they show up to the games late and leave early.

Literally: Negative Value

Agreed Greeks aren't helping their case, particularly the fraternities at LSU. Their Gameday no-shows literally costs the school millions in foregone revenue for what they could charge for premium seats at a non-discounted rate (somebody correct me if I'm wrong, but sororities and fraternities that sit in the gold-backed seats between the endzones do get discounts, correct?)

That said, this article doesn't appear to be defending frats. Pure satire.

Could Not have said it better myself