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Posted on 10/5/17 at 1:15 pm to TheOcean
quote:
The more inexperienced the better.
I'll bet you change your mind on this in 10 years
Posted on 10/5/17 at 1:16 pm to liz18lsu
quote:
I was sometimes a cheater. Not in great relationships
I wonder why
quote:
When women sense weakness, they look elsewhere. Sometimes, I think the man is trying to give the woman what he thinks she wants, but he only comes across as weak. Women (if raised right) want our men to protect us.
Is it the estrogen that makes females dumb? Since you want to give a woman's perspective, let me tell you the truth about guys:
Women go for the a-hole. That's well known. But let me fill you in on a little secret. That nice, quiet, what you think is boring guy, is the one man you don't want to mess with. That is the guy that would fight to the death to protect someone he loves. I'm quiet and shy, but I will beat someone into dust without a moment's hesitation to protect my family.
And that loud mouth a-hole is that way because really inside, he's a coward. I promise you that. And females have been making that mistake for a long time.
Posted on 10/5/17 at 1:16 pm to NoHoTiger
quote:
So are you saying that women should just say it's biology?
No. I'm saying that the idea that women do it for purely emotional needs and men do it for carnal needs does a disservice to both men and women, and doesn't contribute to an understanding of why men and women cheat. Understanding our biology can help contextualize the desire for cheating, but the rationalization and the reductions that are allowed for each gender gives the impression that men don't cheat for emotional reasons and women don't cheat for carnal needs, both things we know are not true. That biological need isn't an excuse for cheating. We have numerous biological needs that are moderated by socialization, and in some cases by law.
Posted on 10/5/17 at 1:18 pm to jvilletiger25
Your insecurity is showing again. Your wife cheating on you has really jaded your outlook.
Posted on 10/5/17 at 1:19 pm to Evil Little Thing
quote:This, Cenla has more 40 somethings that are running around on their husbands than we do ones that are faithful.
It’s a weird, vast underground world I never knew existed.
And the husbands dont do anything, the whole town knows about a few of em and the guys just sit there.
Posted on 10/5/17 at 1:22 pm to jvilletiger25
quote:Well, it doesnt just come across as weak, it is weak.
When women sense weakness, they look elsewhere. Sometimes, I think the man is trying to give the woman what he thinks she wants, but he only comes across as weak
Posted on 10/5/17 at 1:23 pm to Displaced
quote:
Your insecurity is showing again
Do tell. Instead of just throwing shite against the wall.
Posted on 10/5/17 at 1:34 pm to jvilletiger25
quote:
That nice, quiet, what you think is boring guy, is the one man you don't want to mess with. That is the guy that would fight to the death to protect someone he loves. I'm quiet and shy, but I will beat someone into dust without a moment's hesitation to protect my family.
And that loud mouth a-hole is that way because really inside, he's a coward. I promise you that. And females have been making that mistake for a long time.
Why do you feel the need to compare yourself to mr steal-yo-girl while shitting on him and propping yourself up?
This post was edited on 10/5/17 at 1:35 pm
Posted on 10/5/17 at 1:38 pm to 13SaintTiger
quote:
"The fact is," one of these friends told me, "I'm nicer to my husband when I have something special going on that's just for me." She found that she was kinder, more patient, less resentful, "less of a bitch." It occurred to me as I listened that these women were describing infidelity not as a transgression but a creative or even subversive act, a protest against an institution they'd come to experience as suffocating or oppressive. In an earlier generation, this might have taken the form of separation or divorce, but now, it seemed, more and more women were unwilling to abandon the marriages and families they'd built over years or decades. They were also unwilling to bear the stigma of a publicly open marriage or to go through the effort of negotiating such a complex arrangement.
Now they're trying to justify this?
Welp, time to get on my knees and apologize for my fidelity privilege.
Posted on 10/5/17 at 1:40 pm to Displaced
quote:
Why do you feel the need to compare yourself to mr steal-yo-girl while shitting on him and propping yourself up?
For starters, nobody stole any girl from me. Yeah, my ex cheated. But it was because she was a pill popping drug addict. She would've banged anyone for drugs.
Second, tell me I'm wrong. Tell me that loud mouth at the bar is not the one that runs away when shite goes down. I've seen it time and again.
Posted on 10/5/17 at 1:42 pm to tigerfoot
quote:
Well, it doesnt just come across as weak, it is weak.
Doesn't matter if you're alpha or beta, you hook up with a cheater she'll find a way to justify. It's hit or miss
Posted on 10/5/17 at 1:48 pm to RogerTheShrubber
Ok. Doesn't change the fact that you can be yourself, be committed and do your part as a mate while not running around guessing at what you think will make her happy. Be confident.
Posted on 10/5/17 at 1:51 pm to Evil Little Thing
quote:
You’re making us look trashy
We're way beyond this. We know we're all trashy.
Posted on 10/5/17 at 1:52 pm to NoHoTiger
quote:
We're way beyond this. We know we're all trashy.
couple of your posts makes me think this one might be trainable
Posted on 10/5/17 at 1:54 pm to 13SaintTiger
Man and to think I was fricking cynical. Some of yall 
.
I use to be the guy that planned everything around the chick I was dating.
Then I grew a brain and a pair of nuts and went to the distant, mysterious, and barely available playbook.
Haven't looked back since.
I think some dudes misinterpret what woman actually mean (shite I still don't really know).
To me, when a woman says she wants a sensitive dude, she means be there to pick her off the ground. It doesn't mean to me be a emo, baby back bitch.
To me, when a woman says she wants a leader, she means don't give her options, tell her when to be ready and where we are going.
Once I stopped giving women options on things, the connections improved.
I feel like people who cheat have a mechanism that has been removed. Once you cross that line, you get comfortable with the thought and it doesn't bother you as much. You can try to pretend that you'll never do it again, but if you've done it numerous times you know deep down that's false. The only reason you haven't done it now is because there is not a direct opportunity you see as a way to upgrade from your current situation.
I am not saying its impossible, but the odds are heavily in favor of a cheater cheating again.
On a side note, I personally think women are cheating more because a lot of dudes have been raised to be extremely feminine. Biology still rules and from my experiences around lady friends and women in general, they still want a MAN.
We can discuss what an actual MAN is in another thread for another day.
. I use to be the guy that planned everything around the chick I was dating.
Then I grew a brain and a pair of nuts and went to the distant, mysterious, and barely available playbook.
Haven't looked back since.
I think some dudes misinterpret what woman actually mean (shite I still don't really know).
To me, when a woman says she wants a sensitive dude, she means be there to pick her off the ground. It doesn't mean to me be a emo, baby back bitch.
To me, when a woman says she wants a leader, she means don't give her options, tell her when to be ready and where we are going.
Once I stopped giving women options on things, the connections improved.
I feel like people who cheat have a mechanism that has been removed. Once you cross that line, you get comfortable with the thought and it doesn't bother you as much. You can try to pretend that you'll never do it again, but if you've done it numerous times you know deep down that's false. The only reason you haven't done it now is because there is not a direct opportunity you see as a way to upgrade from your current situation.
I am not saying its impossible, but the odds are heavily in favor of a cheater cheating again.
On a side note, I personally think women are cheating more because a lot of dudes have been raised to be extremely feminine. Biology still rules and from my experiences around lady friends and women in general, they still want a MAN.
We can discuss what an actual MAN is in another thread for another day.
Posted on 10/5/17 at 1:55 pm to 777Tiger
quote:
couple of your posts makes me think this one might be trainable
I guess I just need the right man.
Posted on 10/5/17 at 2:00 pm to SoFla Tideroller
quote:
if you prefer fricking 18 year olds to 35 year old women, you're as stupid as you appear to be on here.
we have objective data which suggests:
18-year-old girls are more likely to be messaged on dating apps
more likely to be searched for on porno sites
more likely to be pursued in a sugar daddy relationship
etcs
but on the OT lounge, we only use our subjective feelings to come to conclusions - makes sense
Posted on 10/5/17 at 2:00 pm to NoHoTiger
Too late, you're too old and dried up now. Best to settle for the 45 lb overweight, balding, single dad.
Posted on 10/5/17 at 2:00 pm to 50_Tiger
quote:
I personally think women are cheating more because a lot of dudes have been raised to be extremely feminine.
I'd argue it is social media that raises our awareness of cheating. Men and women have been fricking for ages and pretending like this is a contemporary problem would mean to ignore how people actually lived. The only thing that has changed is the medium by which information is conveyed, and that change has lead to a breakdown of traditional norms of socialization, until new norms can be developed. I think the sociological term for it is culture lag.
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