re: Any married guys had an affair?

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When my wife cheated on me and left, it broke me. She told me she never loved me. Never wanted me. And that broke whatever part of me that believed in a love like that to the core.

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I read here a lot more than I post, but I remember the before and after you. It was night and day, you went from nice guy poster to bitter and cynical overnight it seemed. I felt bad for you, but I think she played you in more ways than one. Women will say anything to get out of something that they want out of, and I think thats what she did to you.

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I'm incorrigible. Just a rascal and a rapscallion. I've got the wanderlust. I don't know if I'm even the settling down forever type.

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you seem slightly less bitter than you did when it was fresh, but still pretty much just as cynical. its like you took that on as some sort of cloak to prevent yourself from getting hurt again. but ultimately, every minute you spend being someone you didn't intend to be is giving her power over you to this day. not one single person who has ever hurt you deserves the right to change you. that is a privilege reserved for those who love and protect your heart and grow for the better with you.
Maybe I'm just stubborn, but if you hurt me, I'll be damned if you have the satisfaction of knowing it changed me.

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Besides, I've got kids. Who is gonna want to start a real relationship with someone who already has kids that aren't their own?

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Most everyone in your age bracket.
We all have kids, its pretty much a given.
Until you find a way to let your authentic self be venerable and hopeful again, you should steer clear of serious relationships. because there are good women out there, probably even some interested in you, but none of them deserve to pay for the hurt that someone else caused.