re: Six months sober today

Hmmm. I used to be much better at sharing, but I've gotten out of the habit. I tend to listen more these days. In fact, I'm kind of going through a period right now where I can't stand to be around people. I kicked a woman out the other night because I just couldn't handle her being in my space.

That's my biggest struggle right now, trusting myself and my feelings.

Drinking struggles. I have lots of dreams about booze and cocaine. I wake up in cold sweats because of those. Thoughts of day drinking make me crave an ice cold beer or frosty gin and tonic like nobody's business, but I can push those aside.

I've picked up a lot of hobbies. I make things with my hands, tie jewelry, build models, whatever I can do to wile away the hours between work and bed.

What's better?

My relationship with my friends and family. All have been enormously supportive. My friends are even reaching out to me about getting sober themselves. Can't say I've ever been a good example before. It's a new and scare feelings. A lot of pressure goes along with that.

I have more money in the bank, when I don't rear end cars.

How long did it take me to get over the hump?

About 60 days. Once I'd set the pattern, things got easier. It got easier to come straight home or go to the library or shopping than hitting up a bar. That part just got phased out. Now, I was in rehab for the first 30 days. That helped.

I've really gotten back into my practice and faith. I now consider myself a practicing Buddhist again. Meditation and Refuge Recover have helped me a lot.