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re: How should I handle this situation figuring out my Dad used my birth money?

Posted on 5/23/16 at 3:16 pm to
Posted by Hawkeye95
Member since Dec 2013
20293 posts
Posted on 5/23/16 at 3:16 pm to
quote:

So, do you think we are stealing?


if you tell them you are doing it, its not stealing.
quote:

I'm sure paying for all college and expenses, paying for a car, etc, far exceeds the value of any investment.

Honestly that isn't the point. The point is taking something that isn't yours. The OP sounds like he got a pretty good deal at life, but that doesn't mean that its ok for a father to raid his savings account.

Just b.c you do some wonderful things as a parent, or do the things that are expected of you, doesn't give you license to take your kid's savings.
Posted by LSUFanHouston
NOLA
Member since Jul 2009
37286 posts
Posted on 5/23/16 at 3:41 pm to
quote:

if you tell them you are doing it, its not stealing.


So it's the lack of a conversation that you are hung up on, not the actual use of the money?

Maybe dad is just a crappy communicator. And I agree, in a perfect world, yeah, dad should have told the kid what was happening.

But in a "net" sense, the dad has give the kid far, far more than he has taken from the kid. So in a way, as I posted earlier, the kid basically shared in some of his own expenses (although he didn't realize it).

To me, stealing is what happened to a friend of mine, who moved out of home at age 18, parents did not pay for anything after high school, and dad opened up a bunch of credit cards in kids name and used the cards to feed a gambling addiction. Never paid the cards either, so the kids credit was trashed, and he had to face the decision of calling it fraud, and basically be called to testify against dad, or doing nothing and having to rebuild his credit.

That's stealing. What the OP has described is a far, far way away from that.
Posted by hungryone
river parishes
Member since Sep 2010
11987 posts
Posted on 5/23/16 at 3:57 pm to
quote:

Just b.c you do some wonderful things as a parent, or do the things that are expected of you, doesn't give you license to take your kid's savings.

I'm feeling old as dirt as I read this thread (and I'm really not, chronologically speaking). In my view, a kid doesn't have separate possessions. Everything belongs to the parents...yes, even those gifts. If OP's pops needed the money to pay for (whatever; family expenses, son's expenses), he's well within his legal rights to use his son's savings. Who knows what sort of circumstances existed in this family to send pops into his son's birthday money? Life is long & complicated, and his father used the funds as he saw fit at the time.

It is beyond petty to call a parent's use of a kid's savings as "theft". I can see that many of you did not grow up in a household where kids' earnings (however meager) were turned over to mom or dad to help pay the household bills. A family is a group enterprise, and at times, one individual's capital can be needed to benefit the whole.

If anyone is at fault, it is the judgey-uncle who planted this seed of "if your dad had invested, you'd have $XX". He's just trying to stir up shite. That's the guy I would scratch from the Christmas card list. So dad made different choices--he's not a criminal, nor does it sounds like the OP was economically neglected. If Uncle Superior really wanted OP to have investments, he could have bought the stocks/mutual fund shares himself and gifted them to the child, rather than simply turning over cash.
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