re: Have you ever thought you were too hard or too easy on your kids?

Mine are 17,15 and 12. The wife and I made the decision to parent through Socratic method when they were young kids.We walk them through stuff with reason and skepticism. Like my Dad did with me. We stay away from the Authoritarian screamy harsh crap. I've never spanked them. I've never needed to. We have lots of conversations and ask a lot of open-ended questions, the goal not being compliance but critical thinking. Anytime I mention that. a thousand self-styled board hard-asses call me names and lose their shite for some reason.

Even with POV stuff like religion and politics we try to let them find their way and walk them through it. The two oldest now do that as a matter of course, and the youngest is on her way. Disagreement on stuff is cool in my family, IF you can defend your position. They know they have to defend their choices and it keeps them on their toes.They have to be able to tell me WHY.

I figure I have them for 20 years or so at best. I want home to be a refuge from Real World crazy stress stuff.What my Mom deprived me of with all her flaky bull shite. I also want them to visit me when they are older and not feel like I was a jackass to them when they were kids.