re: Is there any more of a PITA tree than a river birch?

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Where the hell do those live?

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Central America. They are basically wasps that can't fly. And, they are in every single acacia tree. You don't see the tree all of the time, either. But, if you touch it or even look at it, you are dive bombed by tons of those spawns of the devil. I've been close to using my EpiPen a few times. It's almost as bad as a bullet ant, but unlike a bullet ant, these bastards attack in numbers. It's not like stepping in an ant pile and being able to brush them off. They are in your hair, on your back and inside your clothes instantly.

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I would build a massive pallet and tire fire under it

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I have thousands of them. I try to just leave them alone. I'd take leaf litter over those trees in a second.