re: divorce court question

A little (actually, lot) of both. ... I think you're asking if you can be charged with adultery if you start "dating" someone after papers have been filed & you're living separately, thereby being "legally separated." It is my understanding, in LA, you're free to do that without repercussions. It was put to me by my attorney that the only thing you can't do legally at that point is get remarried. I did have a stipulation, & still do, that no children are to be present at any "sleep overs" with a parent & someone of the opposite sex. ...

In my case, his affair had been going on before I filed, but I didn't know about it, for sure, until after I filed when he was caught red-handed, at which point, I discussed with my attorney the pros/cons of amending the papers to include adultery. For me, it was a much more effective negotiating tool in the amount of spousal support, child support, etc. that I received. ...

I don't know what state you're in, but I definitely suggest consulting with an attorney in your state to find out exactly what the laws are. I wouldn't do anything that I was unsure of without speaking to an attorney.