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What objectively douchebag behaviors do you exhibit...
Posted on 5/30/14 at 6:48 pm
Posted on 5/30/14 at 6:48 pm
Spinoff from Captain Panic's thread. Let's say you consider yourself a basically non-douchey person. You generally respect the rights of others, you have some basic sense of compassion and a modicum of social intelligence, you don't dye your skin orange or spike your hair, you're not tatted up, and you place your phone on silent in theatres and restaurants.
Are there still one or two chinks in your armor? This is for douche behavior, not behavior which renders you a bad person (cheating on a spouse, stealing from your office, etc). Think popping collars, wearing tinted lenses inside, etc.
I'll start: If the temperature is anywhere between 58 and 80 degrees and it isn't raining, I drive with all windows down blasting my music for all the world to hear. Apparently a total douche move, but I enjoy it.
Are there still one or two chinks in your armor? This is for douche behavior, not behavior which renders you a bad person (cheating on a spouse, stealing from your office, etc). Think popping collars, wearing tinted lenses inside, etc.
I'll start: If the temperature is anywhere between 58 and 80 degrees and it isn't raining, I drive with all windows down blasting my music for all the world to hear. Apparently a total douche move, but I enjoy it.
This post was edited on 5/30/14 at 6:50 pm
Posted on 5/30/14 at 6:50 pm to Navytiger74
I tell people all the time how much their opinion on music is terrible.
I'm a dick
I'm a dick
Posted on 5/30/14 at 6:51 pm to CaptainPanic
quote:
I tell people all the time how much their opinion on music is terrible.
If you've never driven home on a Friday afternoon blasting some Foreigner or Bryan Adams, you ain't living.
Posted on 5/30/14 at 6:53 pm to Navytiger74
music is for people who are emotionally unstabale
Posted on 5/30/14 at 7:01 pm to Navytiger74
After I Nitro some nerd on the tee box with a 4hundo class cruiser that daisy cuts the fairway, I don't pick up my tee.
Posted on 5/30/14 at 7:01 pm to Navytiger74
Live in a yuppie zip code
Wear a tag watch and ray bans
Drive a late model Mercedes into poorer hoods to shop
Wear flip flops, almost exclusively
AMEX platinum
All apple products
Spent a month in Thailand and will tell you about it
Read during weddings.
Smoke marijuana in communal areas
Go to Starbucks ever fricking day
Talk to my cat in a foreign accent
Grope and grab my wife relentlessly
Drink craft beers only.
Wear a tag watch and ray bans
Drive a late model Mercedes into poorer hoods to shop
Wear flip flops, almost exclusively
AMEX platinum
All apple products
Spent a month in Thailand and will tell you about it
Read during weddings.
Smoke marijuana in communal areas
Go to Starbucks ever fricking day
Talk to my cat in a foreign accent
Grope and grab my wife relentlessly
Drink craft beers only.
Posted on 5/30/14 at 7:06 pm to Navytiger74
I drive like a fricking dixkhead
Posted on 5/30/14 at 7:07 pm to The Third Leg
quote:
Live in a yuppie zip code Wear a tag watch and ray bans Drive a late model Mercedes into poorer hoods to shop Wear flip flops, almost exclusively AMEX platinum All apple products Spent a month in Thailand and will tell you about it Read during weddings. Smoke marijuana in communal areas Go to Starbucks ever fricking day Talk to my cat in a foreign accent Grope and grab my wife relentlessly Drink craft beers only.
We should probably hang. Except for the weed part. And I wear Omega, not Tag...and don't pay fees on my AMEX.
Posted on 5/30/14 at 7:07 pm to Navytiger74
If my dog shits on someone's yard while we're on a walk, I don't pick it up
Posted on 5/30/14 at 7:08 pm to The Third Leg
quote:
Third leg
Impressed.
Posted on 5/30/14 at 7:13 pm to goldenbadger08
You're old enough for that?
Posted on 5/30/14 at 7:18 pm to The Third Leg
quote:
Wear flip flops
That's a good one
This post was edited on 5/30/14 at 7:19 pm
Posted on 5/30/14 at 7:22 pm to Navytiger74
I flex my pecks nonstop to show them bouncing under my shirt. My excuse? Gotta work those fast twitch muscles too.
You live in the metroplex?
quote:
third leg
You live in the metroplex?
This post was edited on 5/30/14 at 7:23 pm
Posted on 5/30/14 at 7:29 pm to The Third Leg
I get bottle service in low rent bars marketed as clubs
I get the $1500 minimum cabana in Vegas
I always valet, even when it's inconvenient and unnecessary
I buy organic groceries only
I talk about books
I don't have to work much and still hate work
I put my bag on the middle seat after boarding a southwest flight
I recline my seat.
I ignore people sitting next to me on planes, putting my headphones in when they speak
I travel and ask every cab driver or uber driver for drug connections
I have offered regular woman $500 for an hour
I get the $1500 minimum cabana in Vegas
I always valet, even when it's inconvenient and unnecessary
I buy organic groceries only
I talk about books
I don't have to work much and still hate work
I put my bag on the middle seat after boarding a southwest flight
I recline my seat.
I ignore people sitting next to me on planes, putting my headphones in when they speak
I travel and ask every cab driver or uber driver for drug connections
I have offered regular woman $500 for an hour
This post was edited on 5/30/14 at 7:59 pm
Posted on 5/30/14 at 7:35 pm to The Third Leg
Don't forget making up stories to impress the internet
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