TD Music Board Original CopyPasta Thread

frick The Disco Biscuits


/story

I have like 10 pages of my favorite PT copy pasta in a word document

Yea I know I'm a pretty cool dude

>Be me
>Parents died when I was young, no grandparents, live with my piece of shite uncle and little sister in parents old mansion
>fricking hate my uncle, literall sucks at everything and only has his job because my father gave him one in his firm out of pity
>After living with him for about 5 years, I'm around 16
>Come home one day
>Hear giggling in my little sisters room
>Guess they're just having a little uncle/niece time
>As I pass her door on my way to mine, I can hear them more clearly
>Something's off
>My little sis' laughter sounds like an 8-year olds should
>My uncle's doesn't sound right at all
>Open the door to peek inside
>He's tickling her
>About to leave when I notice something
>His hand positioning on her isn't right
>Not enough for her to be concerned, she doesn't know
>I immediately recognize it as inappropriate, and I can tell he's hard
>I get fricking furious and kick open the door
>I'm tall for my age, and he's always been scrawny, so I know I'll seem intimidating
>Yell at him "WHAT THE frick DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"
>He stands up and tries to reply, but he's just stuttering
>I run over to him and grab him by the throat, dragging him into the hallway
>Forcing him down the hallway, stopping by the top of the stairs, me and my sisters rooms are on the third floor
>Repeat my question, ask him what the frick he was doing
>He can't reply
>Tell him to get the frick out of my house, of my fathers house
>Swear that I'll make him lose his job, swear I'll tell everyone about him
this wasn't the first time he'd acted suspicious, but only time I caught him in the act by the way
>He fricks off
>I call the police anyways
>Lil sis is scared, asks me what's happening
>I tell her to calm down, big brother will take care of it.
>Tell police about it
>They can't arrest him for it
>I beg them to at least not let him come back
>They tell me I need to file a restraining order or some shite
>I get help to do so, and over the course of a couple of weeks of shite, I'm successful.
>I'm also allowed to live alone in our house, cause our parents were rich when they died, leaving us with a lot of money
>They also judge me responsible enough for the task, as long as we're frequently checked upon
>Fast forward 3 years
>I'm in college in my home town
>Still live at home because big house luxury, and I need to take care of lil sis
>Govt doesn't check up on us any more
>They've realized I'm old and responsible enough for the task
>I'm not.
>Frequent drug user
>Frequent drinker
>Always invited to rich kid filth parties cause I come from money
>Gone almost all weekends
>Often nights in weekdays
>Trying to drown my shitty feelings in drugs, alcohol and one night stands
>Only to be strong for lil sis when I'm home
>Have this one girl in most of my classes
>I can tell she's crushing on me
>Solid 8/10
>I can have 9s and 10s any night I want at this point, so don't really care
>Act distant to everyone, including her
>Also have this outsider guy in the same classes
>Never talks to anyone
>Except the girl who's crushing on me
>Always makes sure to sit behind her in the lectures, always staring at her
>It's creepy as frick
>One day she sits next to me
>I can feel the guys eyes burning a hole in my head from where he's sitting, behind us
>She asks me if she can come to one of the parties I attend
>Ask her if she actually believes she's up for hanging with people like that
>She says yes
>I reluctantly agree, and give her the address
>Hear pencil on paper behind me
>Get to the party before she does, get right to action
>Time to get high
>15 minutes later she comes in, in a dress that puts her at a 9/10 instead of 8
>She looks shocked
>Everyone else including me look so casually dressed
>Can tell by her face that she completely misjudged what kind of crowd these people were
>Rich maybe, but nowhere close to classy
>She still sits down next to me, looking shy
>I offer her drinks
>She accepts
>After having a few, I offer her some more heavy stuff
>She accepts
>She's thouroughly fricked at this point
>Just like everyone else
>She's putting forward every kind of "I'm into you" move on me
>I'm fricked up, so I roll with it
>Fondling her, making out
>Suddenly she leans over and whispers in my ear
>I want you to frick me
>I'm so fricked up, I just nod
>She's taking the lead, dragging me into a bathroom
>Drops her dress instantly
>Tells me she wants to be had like a fricking animal
>Tells me to use her, and every hole she has
>Don't even have time to answer before she gets on her knees and unbutton my pants
>Whips my dick out and starts sucking me off
>My whole head is just a fricking haze at this point
>Close my eyes
>When I open them again I find myself fricking her over the sink
>She's very quiet about her noises
>I look down and see my dick in her arse
>Can tell she's new to it, but I can tell she's enjoying it
>Suddenly the door opens
>No dinosaur
>It's the guy from our classes
>He followed her here, I'm sure he heard me giving her the address at school
>He just looks tired, like he's been searching all over the house for her
>About ready to head back home
>Then I see the realization in his face
>Tiredness turns into shock, anger and grief all at once
>Both me and him yell wtf at each other at the same time
>I tell him to leave us, he shouldn't be here
>He's not thinking straight
>How could he, he just found someone fricking his crush up the arse in a house full of drunks and druggies
>Asks me what the frick I'm doing to her
>Calls me names
>Asking me how I dare
>Then he's interrupted
>The girl speaks up
>Talking to me
>"Why do you fricking care what this shithead says, I'm not gonna let him ruin this, keep fricking me"
>Practically yells it
>People are crowding around outside the door
>The guy just looks dead
>Then he looks dying
>Slowly backs away, dissappears in the crowd, and somewhere I hear a door slam shut
>Look at the girl I'm with
>She's looking at the crowd with a big smile on her face
>I finish up and get the hell out of there
>Walk home totally fricked and disillusioned
>Get home
>Little sister runs down to hug me
>I'm still all sorts of fricked up, but I still take her up to her room and put her to bed
>Go into my own room to sleep off the high
>Next morning I meet up for the normal classes, abit hungover
>The girl I fricked is there
>Is constantly shooting me looks and smiles
>Almost seems like she did it so I'd fall in love with her
>That's not gonna work with my busy schedual
>Suddenly notice the guy from last night isn't there
>He isn't there for the rest of the day
>Get home, help lil sis out with homework

Americans, let's face it: We've been a spoiled country for a long time.
Do you know what the number one health risk in America is?
Obesity. They say we're in the middle of an obesity epidemic.
An epidemic like it is polio. Like we'll be telling our grand kids about it one day.
The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.
"How'd you get through it grandpa?"
"Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere."

Nobody knows why were getting fatter? Look at our lifestyle.
I'll sit at a drive thru.
I'll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter.
Everything is mega meal, super sized. Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large.
You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother fricker. There's room in the bag. Take it!
Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that? It's only three more cents.

YEWWWWWW