re: She finally farted around me

My cousin used to have the worst farts (her later found out that he's lactose intolerant). And he used to use them as a weapon.

After dating his now wife for a coupe years, he still held them in. One night, thinking she was cute, decided to pull the covers over his head, and gave him a dutch oven. He just looked over and smiled at her, then said "oh, you've fricked up now."