re: Need help from the gun experts. XDM 3.8 compact .45

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Yeah my guess is that the second picture is a 3.8" XDM slide on a full size XD frame.

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Yeah, you don't see them very often but they do make some with the full length 13 round grip on the 3.8 inch slide. (Instead of using the 13 round clip with mag extension to fit into the short compact had grip.
Those aren't compatible with the 9 round compact magazines.