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Started By
Message
Divorce Prep
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:14 am
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:14 am
My wife and I have been married 12 yrs and have three minor children together (1 in high school, 1 in middle school and 1 in elementary school). We've drifted apart over the past few years and tried counseling but that didn't work as she didn't think it was worthwhile. I just heard from a friend of a friend that my wife is meeting with a divorce attorney. What's a good plan of action or any prep I can take?
I am obviously very concerned for my children and how they will take the news. I've stayed around this long to try and keep things together and as normal as possible for them, I'm devastated for my middle school son who really needs structure.
Side note, I live in Louisiana and my wife is/was a heavy drinker until the past few weeks. I'm assuming she's gotten advice from her lawyer and/or friends about that.
I am obviously very concerned for my children and how they will take the news. I've stayed around this long to try and keep things together and as normal as possible for them, I'm devastated for my middle school son who really needs structure.
Side note, I live in Louisiana and my wife is/was a heavy drinker until the past few weeks. I'm assuming she's gotten advice from her lawyer and/or friends about that.
72
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:16 am to Cage Fighter Trainee
She's probably gonna go nuts. Try to be there for your kids.
Women are insane these days.
Women are insane these days.
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:16 am to Cage Fighter Trainee
Hire a private investigator.
Women don't jump out of your bed so much as they jump into someone else's.
Women don't jump out of your bed so much as they jump into someone else's.
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:16 am to Cage Fighter Trainee
Sorry to hear it.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:18 am to Cage Fighter Trainee
Start shopping for an attorney.
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:18 am to Cage Fighter Trainee
quote:
it's a business transaction t this point, minimal interaction with her, don't discuss the divorce or try to do your own negotiating with her, that's what you hire a good attorney for, be there for the kids and no fighting in front of them or bad mouthing your soon to be ex
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:18 am to Cage Fighter Trainee
I’d personally start moving money.
Take out shitloads of cash and just tell her you lost it in a casino.
Take out shitloads of cash and just tell her you lost it in a casino.
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:19 am to SallysHuman
I don't think she's cheating. She's let herself go big time
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:19 am to Cage Fighter Trainee
I was in your exact shoes 10 years ago. Sorry you're going through this.
The "get a badass lawyer" guys don't have a clue. Don't get consumed with anger and waste money. Child support payments are computer calculated these days. You can find those calculations online.
If you fight for anything that is negotiable, it will be property settlement.
https://www.dcfs.louisiana.gov/page/louisiana-child-support-estimator
https://webapps.dcfs.la.gov/OBWS/INTAKE/OBWS/obwsWorkPadSC.html
I tried with absolute proof - photos, phone records, etc. It's really hard to prove, and really not worth the hassle.
The only advantage you'll get out of that is instant divorce instead of having to wait one full year of separation before you can. It might lower alimony a tiny bit.
NO, NO, NO - that would show you have disposable income and are capable of paying more alimony and child support. Also, don't give her money each week until a court tells you that you must. Weekly money establishes a pattern that the courts will continue.
DO hit the "Cash Back" button every time you're at the grocery store and get out $50 or so each grocery visit. That's harder to track. It only shows total purchased from the grocery on your checking account statement.
The "get a badass lawyer" guys don't have a clue. Don't get consumed with anger and waste money. Child support payments are computer calculated these days. You can find those calculations online.
If you fight for anything that is negotiable, it will be property settlement.
https://www.dcfs.louisiana.gov/page/louisiana-child-support-estimator
https://webapps.dcfs.la.gov/OBWS/INTAKE/OBWS/obwsWorkPadSC.html
quote:
Hire a private investigator. Women don't jump out of your bed so much as they jump into someone else's.
I tried with absolute proof - photos, phone records, etc. It's really hard to prove, and really not worth the hassle.
The only advantage you'll get out of that is instant divorce instead of having to wait one full year of separation before you can. It might lower alimony a tiny bit.
quote:
I’d personally start moving money. Take out shitloads of cash and just tell her you lost it in a casino.
NO, NO, NO - that would show you have disposable income and are capable of paying more alimony and child support. Also, don't give her money each week until a court tells you that you must. Weekly money establishes a pattern that the courts will continue.
DO hit the "Cash Back" button every time you're at the grocery store and get out $50 or so each grocery visit. That's harder to track. It only shows total purchased from the grocery on your checking account statement.
This post was edited on 9/11/25 at 11:30 am
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:20 am to blueboxer1119
quote:
I’d personally start moving money.
judges take a really dim view of that
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:20 am to Cage Fighter Trainee
Go see a good divorce attorney ASAP.
Protect yourself at all times.
Protect yourself at all times.
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:21 am to Cage Fighter Trainee
Document the current status of any bank accounts, assets, and debts.
Get an attorney.
Get an attorney.
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:22 am to TigerBait1971
quote:
Document the current status of any bank accounts, assets, and debts.
Get an attorney.
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:22 am to OysterPoBoy
quote:
Women are insane these days.
Been that way since day one
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:23 am to Cage Fighter Trainee
Get a separate banking account open. Watch credit card purchases. Freeze cards if can. Get all balances recorded. Make sure 401ks etc monitored. Do not move out. Don’t do anything that could start argument. Sometimes they provoke for a restraining order to get you out.
ETA: do not communicate anything vocally about plans. Emails only to keep records. If she speaks about something related, keep hand written notes/dates in a journal.
ETA: do not communicate anything vocally about plans. Emails only to keep records. If she speaks about something related, keep hand written notes/dates in a journal.
This post was edited on 9/11/25 at 1:44 pm
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:23 am to blueboxer1119
I am concerned about this.
She seems to have been stockpiling cash the past year or so, as she contributes next to nothing towards the household.
She seems to have been stockpiling cash the past year or so, as she contributes next to nothing towards the household.
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:23 am to TigerBait1971
quote:
Document the current status of any bank accounts, assets, and debts.
and cancel any high limit credit cards that your name is on
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:24 am to Cage Fighter Trainee
That’s community cash.
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:24 am to Cage Fighter Trainee
Find out which attorney and meet with them first.
Posted on 9/11/25 at 11:24 am to Cage Fighter Trainee
quote:
I am concerned about this.
She seems to have been stockpiling cash the past year or so, as she contributes next to nothing towards the household.
Brother, it sounds like she is doing you a favor by wanting a divorce. You will be in a much better place in a couple of years.
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