re: Wife is mad because I won't go to in laws twice in three weeks

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What kind of compromise is possible?

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You're the one who doesn't want to go, it's up to you to get creative. If there's something you've been wanting to do or buy that she doesn't care for, you have your leverage.

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She wants to go both weekends and I don't

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People do stuff every day that they don't want to do. It's part of life. In this case be happy it's a grad party and not a weekend at an arts and crafts festival in Des Moines, Iowa.