Question for drummers

Are you getting him an acoustic kit? I’ve been using in-ear monitors (headphones) for gigs and for playing along to songs at home for years. Get him a pair of those so he can play the acoustic kit and listen to the music at a “reasonable” volume.

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Looking you a recommendation on an in ear monitor that will also help provide some protection from the repeated volume of the drums. Brand, model, etc.

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Protection from drum/cymbal volume and general stage volume is basically the primary reason in-ear monitors were invented (they also lower overall stage volume from the audience's perspective because they eliminate the need for stage wedges, making the FOH guy's job easier).

Anyway, since your guy is a youngster, I'd recommend these ZST earbuds from Amazon. I keep a pair in my bag to use as back-ups in case my really good ones crap out on me. The ZSTs are dirt cheap and they do a fine job at sealing the ear canal to keep out ambient noise and it won't hurt your wallet to replace them. Plug them into a phone or iPad to listen to music, adjust the volume so he can hear a blend of his drums and the song, and he's good to go.

As far as lowering the volume of the acoustic kit, Evans and Remo (the two most-used drumhead makers) both make low-volume "mesh" drumheads. I'm an Evans guy so I'm biased towards the "Sound Off" heads. The Zildjian cymbal company also makes low-volume cymbals; the model is "L80". That will allow him to practice without driving the rest of your family insane.