re: My Mom has been getting worse with her dementia

Just seeing this thread, but it brings me back to my dad. He passed a year ago in February after a few year bout with dementia.

I don't have a whole lot of advice that hasn't already been said. But a few things stand out:

- Take care of the primary caregiver. My mom was my dad's primary caregiver, and it was exhausting for her. Just giving her some time to go grocery shopping by herself or to a doctor's appointment without having to worry about dragging him along was some relief. As much as this disease ravages the person with it, it affects the caregiver just as much.

- Always stay calm. You can't solve anything by getting upset with anything he/she does. It will only make things worse. Particularly if Sundowners is involved. My dad would be relatively peaceful during the day even though he didn't know what planet he was on. But come evening, he turned into a different person. The longer days certainly helped, because in the winter when it got dark at 5pm, it was really rough. But know that whatever he/she says is not to be taken personally.

- As others have said, look into hospice care so that a nurse can come to the house several times a week. There are no medications that can slow down the process, but a few can help ease some of the moodiness. However, some of them can have the opposite effect, so some experimentation may be in order.

- I wish we had gone with a memory care facility earlier. By the time my dad got to be too much for my mom to handle on her own, he was too far gone. He spent 2 nights in a memory care facility, then was unable to eat, drink or communicate. He spent the next 10 days or so in hospice care before passing peacefully. I was fortunate to be at his side when he took his last breath. I'm tearing up now just thinking about it. But it was as much of a relief as it was sad. Seeing him like that for years and the toll it took on my mom was rough.

Good luck to all going through this. It's a truly awful disease.