re: What do you do when grounding doesn't work?

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Well *he* (female poster here)

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Oh?

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I think we need to put a moratorium on overnight trips without the kids

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How often does this happen? I can tell you, my parents left me at home a lot when I was in HS. I was very immature and did very immature things too. Like, have parties, consume copious amounts of alcohol, etc. But a couple of jail stints later, I finally turned it around.

But you and your spouse need to compromise and be on the same page with the approach.

Finally reading through the thread, this post stopped me for a sec.

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Well *he* (female poster here) doesn't think it should impact our lifestyle at all. I want to put all booze behind lock and key and reel in the daily drinking in front of kids. I think we need to put a moratorium on overnight trips without the kids (it was our 25th wedding anniversary, and we had a weekend trip) until our son has gained some maturity

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I agree with you 100% here. Until he is 18 and out of HS your job is to raise your kids. I would get all alcohol out of the house and only have a drink if I'm out without the kids. It would be a small, temporary sacrifice, but would speak volumes.

I come from an extended family of heavey drinkers, including my parents when they were younger. When me and my siblings were kids they decided to stop drinking and got all alcohol out of the house, in part because they saw the effect it had on the family. Many of our aunts and uncles did the same when there were a lot of kids around. On both sides of my family we had multiple aunts, uncles, older cousins whose alcohol use contributed to early deaths. Today, while many of my cousins, including myself drink, and occasionally party hard, I don't think anyone is a daily drinker. Looking back I 100% believe the decision by my parents and some of their siblings to not drink around the kids had a huge impact in breaking the family cycle of alcoholism.