re: Rock (wife) between (me) Hard place (my family)

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My wife and family have had underlying issues but we lived 500 miles away so it was easier to ignore the issues for a weekend or so and we just love our lives. But we have moved back to town and drama has ensued/ i mean no real drama -basically it’s just that i hate confrontation which manifests in poor communication. And feelings get hurt etc Fast forward to an upcoming event, my sister (also no photos) really wants us to attend and i KNOW it’s going to cause a rift if i don’t come but my wife just threw down that she wasn’t going to go because she wasn’t welcome (basically my sister said she didn’t trust my wife…now, my wife hadn’t done anything to warrant that comment but my sister said it ) So now… i have to tell my sister that we aren’t coming but make it sound as if it’s my idea as so i minimize the collateral damage (meaning…how my sister will react if she finds out that this is my wife’s decision)

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Sounds like you and your wife need to sit down and hash out your expectations for each other. If you are expecting her to attend family events now that you have moved back you need to tell her that.

She will have to be an adult and suck it up to support her husband because, you know, that’s what spouses do. I do shite with my wife with people I absolutely loathe, but it’s her and her event so I want to support her. You have to get your wife to realize that it’s about you and her, and not your family.

Now it also seems like you need to have a sit down with your sister and tell her to watch her goddamn mouth. That’s your wife, and like it or not she has to respect it. If the disrespect continues you and your wife will not be present at future family events.