re: Follow up re: my imminent divorce UPDATE PG 20

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I have one

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Be honest with them then. Or get a better one.

I know how you feel. I, like a lot of posters in this thread, have been in your shoes. There's a lot of good advice in this thread. Some will work for you, some won't. There's no one way to come out of this. But you have to keep trying.

I married my high school sweetheart after graduating college, and we moved across the country. After a couple years of marriage, I found out she was banging a coworker. Found out while we were hosting about 30 people at our house for a party. It was devastating.

I went to therapy. Honestly, the picture of the therapist and her family that she had on her desk just depressed me even more. I made some bad decisions in the weeks immediately following that weren't exactly helpful (drinking, drugs, random hookups, etc.), but they were in a sense necessary. One day I went to work on a Tuesday, went out on a bender Tuesday night and woke up on the floor of a friends apartment Wednesday morning. Had to call in sick to work because I was so late and hungover. Realized in this moment that something needed to change. This wasn't the life I wanted.

I realized that I needed to take responsibility for my life. Think about the life I want, and make it happen. Not just sit around and wait for it or hope it happens TO me. I started going to the gym, lost 50 lbs and got absolutely shredded. I traveled. Learned to appreciate being alone and got comfortable with myself. And eventually, met an amazing woman. We've been married almost 9 years now with 3 great kids.

Think hard about the life you want, and the person you want to be, and start taking steps today to make that life a reality. It won't happen overnight. And it won't be easy. But it will be worth it.

Man, I'm sorry you're going through this but I'm torn between feeling sorry for you and wanting to physically harm you. Nothing excuses what she did, but from what I've gathered from this thread and your medication thread; you are definitely partially responsible for the decay of your marriage. You're a miserable pussy. Take accountability. Take control of your life. Stop whining and do something. There are so many worse things to be going through. Stop wallowing in your misery and try to look at things with a clearer perspective. I'm not suggesting you "man up" or not acknowledge your emotions. I'm not being insensitive, really. Mental health is very important and we all have our ups and downs and things to work on. The only thing you can control is how you react to things. Choose to be better.