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Fear and (self) Loathing on The Bayou
Posted on 11/26/16 at 10:26 am
Posted on 11/26/16 at 10:26 am
Calm the frickety frick down you bed-wetting, pillow-biters. And man the frick up.
All I see now are thousands of barely-contained delicate psychologies, each dueling to have the greatest existential meltdown. Get the frick over yourselves.
I understand that you have fear. I understand that you have anxiety. I understand that you are struggling to understand that you do not in fact, control the Universe. I get all that. Fear, Anxiety and lack of control.
Kindly allow Uncle Pimp assuage your generalized anxiety. Knowing that I was riding for Tom Herman, the great white whale. I'm over it.
1. LSU's on field performance will benefit from nine months of SEC-Rant type derision and mockery.
2. We now have a deeply-humbled Coach with a burning intensity to excel.
3. Saban can't Corch forever.
4. Guice will be a front-runner to win the Heisman because...
5. Our entirely new 55/45 offense will be focused around utilizing his skills
6. Our recruiting will get even better.
7. We have the best defensive coordinator in the business.
8. Peveto will...well shite. Strike number eight.
9. Chicks, man.
10. Everybody will be overlooking this 800lb gorilla with a chainsaw for a penis we call LSU football.
All I see now are thousands of barely-contained delicate psychologies, each dueling to have the greatest existential meltdown. Get the frick over yourselves.
I understand that you have fear. I understand that you have anxiety. I understand that you are struggling to understand that you do not in fact, control the Universe. I get all that. Fear, Anxiety and lack of control.
Kindly allow Uncle Pimp assuage your generalized anxiety. Knowing that I was riding for Tom Herman, the great white whale. I'm over it.
1. LSU's on field performance will benefit from nine months of SEC-Rant type derision and mockery.
2. We now have a deeply-humbled Coach with a burning intensity to excel.
3. Saban can't Corch forever.
4. Guice will be a front-runner to win the Heisman because...
5. Our entirely new 55/45 offense will be focused around utilizing his skills
6. Our recruiting will get even better.
7. We have the best defensive coordinator in the business.
8. Peveto will...well shite. Strike number eight.
9. Chicks, man.
10. Everybody will be overlooking this 800lb gorilla with a chainsaw for a penis we call LSU football.
2
Posted on 11/26/16 at 10:29 am to Lsupimp
I usually really like your commentary and you are usually spot on, but this time you are missing it. Orgeron might get us to 9-3. Great! We are talking long-term here and there is little question that 5 years from now Orgeron will have the program in a weaker position. We wanted a top coach. It is not weak to want that. It is actually weak to settle. Man up and stop settling.
Posted on 11/26/16 at 10:34 am to AlaTiger
Sweet narrative but not based in fact. That's solely an emotional assumption based on your fear and anxiety. The first truth is we can't FORCE Herman or Jimbo to take the job. The second truth is there is no way to predict coaching success. If your Coach isn't named Saban or Meyer or Peterson it is a crap shoot. It is a totally reasonable position to say that Coach O is as likely to contend for titles at LSU as anybody else.
Posted on 11/26/16 at 10:43 am to Lsupimp
quote:
The second truth is there is no way to predict coaching success. If your Coach isn't named Saban or Meyer or Peterson it is a crap shoot.
Correct, but you can make educated decisions based on the evidence at hand.
The evidence at hand states that the coach we hired to compete with the likes of Saban, and hopefully Meyer/Harbaugh in the playoffs, has a combined record of 15-27 as a coach in the SEC, with a 7-23 conference record.
Those are facts.
Posted on 11/26/16 at 10:56 am to rintintin
quote:
Correct, but you can make educated decisions based on the evidence at hand. The evidence at hand states that the coach we hired to compete with the likes of Saban, and hopefully Meyer/Harbaugh in the playoffs, has a combined record of 15-27 as a coach in the SEC, with a 7-23 conference record. Those are facts.
Once we take those facts, we dig into them to seek further clarity. We surmise that he was an abject failure at Ole Miss. We see that he was highly successful under difficult circumstances in an interim role at USC. MOST IMPORTANTLY, we analyze the job he did in an interim Coach at LSU.
He instantaneously changed the energy level and culture. He transformed the offensive philosophy, breaking multiple all-time records for production. He delegated responsibility well. He was prepared and focused. He played Alabama evenly through three quarters and generally acquitted himself well against a superior team. He lost a tight one to UF after multiple INEXPLICABLE on-the-field mistakes by Guice, Jackson, etc. Those are the facts.
So move on to Gundy and discuss soul-crushing losses to Iowas State and Texas Tech.
Talk about Fedora shitting the bed over and over.
Go ahead -show me the bullet-proof, can't miss "Meyer/Saban" Coach.
Who is this mystery man?
Posted on 11/26/16 at 11:05 am to Lsupimp
I hope we don't end it all like Hunter S. Thompson did.
He committed suicide, was cremated and had his ashes shot out of a cannon.
He committed suicide, was cremated and had his ashes shot out of a cannon.
This post was edited on 11/26/16 at 11:07 am
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