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Started By
Message
Texas Removes Mask Mandate To Scare All The Californians Away
Posted on 3/3/21 at 4:02 pm
Posted on 3/3/21 at 4:02 pm
Babylon Bee
quote:
AUSTIN, TX—Governor Greg Abbott of Texas has just lifted the mask mandate and is allowing business to return to 100% capacity. The Governor explains that in these trying times, extreme measures must be taken to stop the spread of Californians into Texas and to scare them off from ever wanting to return.
“The last thing we need is a bunch of sissies from California moving to our beautiful state of Texas and screwing everything up and turning the state blue!” said Governor Abbott during a Lubbock Chamber of Commerce event. “Too many Californians have entered our state. Too many ridiculous liberal ideas have already been proposed. This must end. It’s time to open Texas 100%.”
Governor Abbott continued, “We believe that by removing the mask requirement that all of the Californians will flee in terror, restoring our state to its former glory. As soon as they see the joy and hear the laughter of our citizens returning to normal life, they’ll be sure to pack up and leave at once.”
The Governor has strategically placed “No Masks Required” stickers on all Texas state signs warning all who enter of what lies beyond. He has expressed hope that this will send any namby-pamby who reads it back around to where they came from. “We tried buying and carrying more guns around, but somehow that didn't work. Then we tried driving around in big, lifted, gas-guzzling trucks, but they still kept coming. But now by removing our masks for good Texas can finally start to heal.”
After seeing immediate results by reversing the mask mandate, Governor Abbott has been looking for more ways to scare off the cry-baby cowards. He has now removed all social distancing guidelines and even encouraged citizens to stop washing their hands.
Posted on 3/3/21 at 4:04 pm to AUFan2015
I wish Texas much success.
Posted on 3/3/21 at 4:42 pm to AUFan2015
The Bee needs to stop stealing from me...
Yesterday...
quote:
So...I just figured out Texas' plan to get Californians to not just stop moving there, but to frick right back off to where thy came from.
This might be quite the little strategy...
Yesterday...
Posted on 3/3/21 at 4:43 pm to GeauxTigerTM
(no message)
This post was edited on 11/6/23 at 8:05 pm
Posted on 3/3/21 at 4:48 pm to AUFan2015
This is one time when satire may be reality.
Posted on 3/3/21 at 4:48 pm to TomBuchanan
quote:
Lol you joke but a couple of them lurk here
I'd guarantee that's true.
Posted on 3/3/21 at 4:52 pm to TomBuchanan
quote:
Lol you joke but a couple of them lurk here ?
Guaranteed
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