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Pelosi Cancels Taiwan Trip Over Fears of China's Newly Developed Vodka-Seeking Missile
Posted on 8/2/22 at 2:12 pm
Posted on 8/2/22 at 2:12 pm
quote:
WASHINGTON, D.C. — House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has been forced to cancel her planned flight to Taiwan after China announced they have developed deadly surface-to-air vodka-seeking missiles.
"Your politician lady will never get past the awesome might of our XA-12 People's Liberation Army Martini Maimers!" said CCP General Xu Xian Xong. "We dare you to try! Hahahahaha!"
"We were going to continue the trip as planned until China's very serious threat," said a State Department official. "Speaker Pelosi's blood vodka levels are higher than any known American, making it impossible to evade a deadly missile barrage. Plus, she is extremely flammable. It wouldn't be a pretty sight."
Pelosi's team is considering several safer options for her trip, including using Zoom, investing millions in CCP-owned companies in exchange for safe passage, and having her fly below SAM radar on her broomstick.
"I will nobbeee intimidated by Chinese threats," slurred Pelosi while chugging Tito's directly from the bottle. "Muh fooshuuuuuu blarmgiddle. Good morning, Sunday morning."
At publishing time, the CCP also warned Hunter Biden about trying to get past their array of crack-seekers.
Babylon Bee
Posted on 8/2/22 at 2:21 pm to L.A.
Going to be hard to cancel a trip when she’s already there
Posted on 8/2/22 at 2:35 pm to L.A.
Damnit I was looking forward to see if those Chinese missiles would of worked.
Posted on 8/2/22 at 2:36 pm to L.A.
quote:
CCP General Xu Xian Xong
For some reason I started cracking up out loud when I read this name.
Posted on 8/2/22 at 3:32 pm to Henry Jones Jr
quote:After her plane landed, she turned around and came back home
Going to be hard to cancel a trip when she’s already there
Posted on 8/2/22 at 4:59 pm to Double Oh
quote:
Damnit I was looking forward to see if those Chinese missiles would of worked.
Posted on 8/2/22 at 5:13 pm to L.A.
She was there before she canceled
Posted on 8/2/22 at 5:17 pm to El_chantajista
quote:
She was there before she canceled
Pelosi is so fricked up, she could make that happen!
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