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600-Page Stimulus Bill To Be Disguised As Nudie Mag To Trick Senators Into Reading It
Posted on 3/6/21 at 7:18 am
Posted on 3/6/21 at 7:18 am
Big Uns
As part of a novel new plan to get senators to actually read the legislation they are voting on, the 600-page stimulus bill will be disguised as an old-time nudie mag in hopes that they'll open it up.
"Oh? What's this?" said one senator as he saw the giant stack of papers on his desk with a Playboy cover. "Hold my calls! I'll be in my office uh... doing stuff! And don't disturb me!"
The hope is that senators will read through at least a few dozen pages of the legislation before they realize they've been had. Some inappropriate pictures will be slipped in throughout the pages to keep them going, though there is little hope that their attention will be held beyond page 30 or 40.
"Even if we just get them to glance at it, that'd be a win," said the citizens' advocacy group that came up with the plan. "Hopefully, they'll leaf through some pages and maybe spot a few hundred billion here or there that they can cut before they saddle our grandchildren with more suffocating debt."
"We're not holding our breath, though."
At publishing time, sources had confirmed that future stimulus bills will have fun electronic buttons to make sounds and interactive touch and feel elements to keep the senators entertained and engaged throughout.
As part of a novel new plan to get senators to actually read the legislation they are voting on, the 600-page stimulus bill will be disguised as an old-time nudie mag in hopes that they'll open it up.
"Oh? What's this?" said one senator as he saw the giant stack of papers on his desk with a Playboy cover. "Hold my calls! I'll be in my office uh... doing stuff! And don't disturb me!"
The hope is that senators will read through at least a few dozen pages of the legislation before they realize they've been had. Some inappropriate pictures will be slipped in throughout the pages to keep them going, though there is little hope that their attention will be held beyond page 30 or 40.
"Even if we just get them to glance at it, that'd be a win," said the citizens' advocacy group that came up with the plan. "Hopefully, they'll leaf through some pages and maybe spot a few hundred billion here or there that they can cut before they saddle our grandchildren with more suffocating debt."
"We're not holding our breath, though."
At publishing time, sources had confirmed that future stimulus bills will have fun electronic buttons to make sounds and interactive touch and feel elements to keep the senators entertained and engaged throughout.
Posted on 3/6/21 at 7:25 am to Crimson Wraith
Appreciate the humor but it really is ridiculous these bills can be so long. Shouldn't be more than a page or two. Ridiculous.
Posted on 3/6/21 at 7:31 am to Tigers0891
quote:
but it really is ridiculous these bills can be so long. Shouldn't be more than a page or two. Ridiculous.
You can’t sneak in special interest with a few pages.
$1400 checks = $600B
Remaining $1.3T??
What about the remaining $1T from the previous stimulus?
If it was truly a Stimulus package, they could cut $10,000 checks to every under thresholds. Or $5,000 checks, with remaining money allocated to small business under certain revenue
Posted on 3/6/21 at 7:34 am to Tigers0891
quote:
Appreciate the humor but it really is ridiculous these bills can be so long. Shouldn't be more than a page or two. Ridiculous.
They are long, for a reason. Just like the CV showed up right before the election. The Left is both cunning and ruthless, because they believe they are fighting for a superior moral cause.
"And they will slay the children of God, believing that they do God a favor". (Biblical paraphrase).
It is just a matter of time before Cancel Culture focuses on the 'divisive and judgmental' Bible, and those who spew the offensive Ideas therein.
Yall can forget this election stuff. The 'Stimulus' money/power will put the last nail in that coffin. Strap in.
Posted on 3/6/21 at 7:44 am to bstew3006
quote:
What about the remaining $1T from the previous stimulus?
Hey man...the Kennedy center needs bathroom remods.
Posted on 3/6/21 at 7:47 am to Crimson Wraith
quote:
600-Page Stimulus Bill To Be Disguised As Nudie Mag To Trick Senators Into Reading It
Won’t work on the Dems unless they say it contains images of gays, trannies, or kids.
Posted on 3/6/21 at 9:28 am to Bulldogblitz
quote:
Hey man...the Kennedy center needs bathroom remods.
And the rail system in SF needs updating...that will boost the economy way more than stimulus checks
Posted on 3/6/21 at 9:39 am to Bulldogblitz
quote:
Hey man...the Kennedy center needs bathroom remods.
New toilet seat = $3500
New water valve = $4300
Caulk = $695
+ installation fees
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