re: Would you want your spouse to remarry if you died?

Only if she is fatter than me. Uglier than me. And is so high maintenance it makes him suddenly aware of how amazing I was and how much he misses me.

Y'all have no clue what you are asking. Most men cannot hang with widows.

So here is what happens.

1. Ya horn dog friends, married or not, will hit on her. She will likely be disgusted.
2. At the same time, the widow chasers will arrive on the scene and think she has money.

Both 1 and 2 happen in the first year. After year 1, the following happens:

3. She will start dating. She will likely have a dark sense of humor and converge with other widows who are the same. She will likely stop telling men she is widowed because widows are perceived as sad.

4. She will have a new phase that will hit her from nowhere and she will not understand. Timing when it happens is random. Can start as early 6 months, but can even happen 5 years later. We will call this the widhoe stage.

5. She will be abandoned by people.... including your family. All the people who said they would be there are gone after month 1.

6. She will still miss you and cry for you years later. Even decades. She will still think about you and the life you are missing together.

7. She will contend with other men who cannot deal with you. They will ask her to take your pictures down and not talk about you. Make sure you leave her enough money so she doesn't have to deal with crap like that.

Few things you should know. Widows go from married tax rate to single tax rate the year after you die. She gets to live on half of what she had at a higher tax rate. Widows with kids get social security. Those with kids over 18 get nothing until retirement. There are no advocacy groups for these 40 to 65 Widows and they struggle the most. An overwhelming number of widows fall into poverty after death of a spouse. Death of a spouse is the most life changing event and the average person doesn't understand. It isn't at all uncommon for widows to hear "I know your sadness as I felt that way when my dog died." Your dog didn't take out the trash and pay bills.

Her life will forever change and she will have many new battles. She will be judged if she dates too soon and then there will be the other crowd who is on her about not dating. And the men out there she can date are sheetshows. If you didn't provide for her after death in a decent manner, she will have no choice to settle to survive or she will have to make choices on what to lose / give up.