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Posted on 10/4/22 at 11:23 am to Sam Quint
quote:
i've heard tales of such marriages existing. but i do not believe that will ever be in the cards for mine.
Well this is my second. My first was a disaster and looking back I contributed my share to it being that way but thankfully it was short, we were very young and there were no kids. This time around I made a list of characteristics that were important, nice-to-have, and deal-killers and graded everyone I dated on that list.
We've been married 30 years and I'd be lying if I said it was always easy - it takes work and no one should delude themselves that you'll never argue. I've heard that if you don't argue every now and then, one of you isn't necessary. We were both "necessary" as recently as last week.
I think this term gets over used, but it applies: it takes constant mindfulness and intentionality, it doesn't "just happen and if not then you're a bad fit". That's one of the chief mistakes I made the first time around.
The other thing I tell my younger friends is to take the long view when assessing their marriage, not snapshots. Just as, and because, there are seasons to our lives there are seasons to a marriage - and a hard winter that lingers longer than it should isn't due to "climate change".
This post was edited on 10/4/22 at 11:25 am
Posted on 10/4/22 at 11:35 am to AZBadgerFan
quote:
When men age they look like Sean Connery. When women age they look like.....Sean Connery.
Posted on 10/4/22 at 11:40 am to Big Gorilla
My wife has actually aged better than I have. People are usually surprised to learn she's a little older than me. She dyes her hair though so it's kinda cheating
Posted on 10/4/22 at 12:05 pm to AZBadgerFan
quote:
When men age they look like Sean Connery. When women age they look like.....Sean Connery.
Genetics: Some do, some don't.
Some men age like Mickey Rourke instead.
Some women (like mine) age like Monica Belluci (not saying she looks like her, but the progression is similar).
Do they not teach young guys anymore the old saying about "check out her mom, that's a preview of what you're in for in 20+ years" ?
BTW, that applies to how she treats her husband not just her looks.
Posted on 10/4/22 at 12:07 pm to fallguy_1978
quote:
She dyes her hair though so it's kinda cheating
Yes that's cheating. My kids asked my wifes natural hair color and I shouldn't have responded "grey". Yeah that didn't go over well.
Posted on 10/4/22 at 12:12 pm to Big Gorilla
Yeah she'd be all grey if she didn't. I just let mine go. Started seeing some greys in the beard around 40. Almost 5 years later the beard is probably 90% grey, sides of the head are next. I don't care though. Not like I'm 28 years old or anything.
Posted on 10/4/22 at 12:19 pm to Big Gorilla
it's only cheating if you can't do the same. though it would be rather conspicuous if your face looked like a relief map of the Rocky Mountains but your hair was jet black. I dyed my beard several years back and it looked ridiculous.
I dyed my beard several years back and it looked ridiculous. 
Posted on 10/4/22 at 1:16 pm to RedPop4
quote:
This is why couples' counseling is useless or nearly so. Protect the wives at all costs.
Blame the husbands for everything.
It was a joke.
I made a post earlier in this thread that noted that some of these guys have married some shitty women.
Posted on 10/4/22 at 1:19 pm to Patfic15
Do you have a Pool, Yard or weekly plumbing service? If so, you might want to think about bugging your home with some hidden cameras. Sounds like she is taking all of her happiness out on one those dicks.
Posted on 10/4/22 at 1:20 pm to Oates Mustache
quote:
I just want a follow-up on this post. I want him to explain how he handled this, how he's going to handle it, etc. I simply could not ever get past this. Once those words have passed your lips, it's over, done, divorced/broken up.
Threatening to bang another guy isn't just anger talk, that's realism.
Yeah you're not just yelling something like that out unless there's something behind that. Generally the first response in a heated response like that is usually "Fine, I'll leave" and that's not ok either.
Sadly, people are shite at communicating. Good majority of problems in relationships are lack of communication or the inability to express needs/wants like an adult.
Posted on 10/4/22 at 1:30 pm to Patfic15
You newly married, baw?
Posted on 10/4/22 at 1:38 pm to fallguy_1978
quote:
My wife has actually aged better than I have. People are usually surprised to learn she's a little older than me. She dyes her hair though so it's kinda cheating
Same. My wife is slightly older than me. Been married 35 years as of last Monday.
I have definitely not taken care of myself lately. She is doing a better job.
Posted on 10/10/22 at 7:20 pm to LanierSpots
Thats a little harsh. Maybe i should say, i wish i had married someone way nicer and happier.
This post was edited on 10/10/22 at 10:41 pm
Posted on 10/10/22 at 7:23 pm to LChama
quote:
Mine sucks as a human
Damn baw.
Posted on 10/10/22 at 9:24 pm to LChama
quote:
Mine sucks as a human
Yikes. Does she kick puppies? Shitty tipper?
Posted on 10/11/22 at 6:26 pm to Tyga Woods
what makes you say that?
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