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re: With all the talk about elderly parents I implore you to be by their side when they pass
Posted on 6/26/25 at 11:02 am to sidewalkside
Posted on 6/26/25 at 11:02 am to sidewalkside
One of my wife's co-workers dad lives oversea in SE Asia. Upon hear that he's nearing the end, she immediately book a flight to see him before he goes. Upon arriving in Seoul for the last connecting flight, she got the called that her dad had passed. What a bad beat that was for her. This story of stayed with me for a bit because my dad is also in his last chapter of his life living overseas. And it made me realize the importance of being there for him in his final hours. I'd say that it's more important than being there for the birth of my child.
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Posted on 6/26/25 at 11:08 am to sidewalkside
I agree completely! Because of my own screwed up problems, I spent the last year and a month of my dads life with him in my parents house helping my mom take care of him. Then I was with him, along with my sister for the last two weeks of his life, 24/7. Probably the most difficult thing I have ever been through but would not hesitate to do it all over again and will be there for mom when that time comes.
Posted on 6/26/25 at 11:11 am to sidewalkside
quote:
With all the talk about elderly parents I implore you to be by their side when they pass
This is true. My father passed away last month and I wasn't there because I thought he'd be getting out of the hospital and going to skilled nursing. I've been struggling with the guilt of not being there and being able to tell him goodbye.
I've made it a point to go back more often now and spend time with my mom, who's in her mid-80s.
You never know when they're going to pass.
Posted on 6/26/25 at 11:11 am to BasilFawlty
quote:
Mom died in 2020 at 78 in Mandeville during the Covid shite. She had been hospitalized for a few months, but I couldn't visit because of Covid regs
My mother also died in 2020 and we couldn't be with her for the same reason.
My dad died in 2015 and thankfully I was able to get to North Carolina in time to say goodbye and be there with him along with my mother and my siblings as he passed.
Posted on 6/26/25 at 11:24 am to sidewalkside
I was the last family member to see my Mom before she died.
After a long day of staying with her, I dropped off another family member and headed to my hotel.
As I passed the assisted living facility, I ducked in and told Mkm it was OK for her to go.
We were all ok and would see her again someday.
I'll be eternally grateful for stopping in again when I almost passed her by.
After a long day of staying with her, I dropped off another family member and headed to my hotel.
As I passed the assisted living facility, I ducked in and told Mkm it was OK for her to go.
We were all ok and would see her again someday.
I'll be eternally grateful for stopping in again when I almost passed her by.
Posted on 6/26/25 at 11:36 am to sidewalkside
quote:I am glad you had this beautiful experience - it's priceless.
My father recently passed. I stayed by his side for a few days straight in the hospital while we waited for nature to take its course. Despite being significantly sedated and nearly completely incapacitated he "came to" literally at the end, opened his eyes and mouthed some words that I will chose to believe were "I love You" and then passed.
It was a painful but amazing gift to be there in that moment and look him in the eye and kiss him and hug him and tell him I Love You and it's ok to go be in peace.
However, last year I sat by the bed for 6 days (!) and he had not passed. The chaplain mentioned to me that perhaps he DID NOT want someone there when he passed. It had never even crossed my mind! I gave myself permission to leave, but came back after about 15 hours. It wasn't some dramatic "he was just waiting for you to go", but it did get me thinking that it might not always be obvious.
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