No. This is the worst post.

I wrote this in college over 10 years ago...



There were three punctuation marks: ,, ;, and :. They always fought over who would get to be included in a sentence. : always wanted to split a sentence, and ; was sick and tired of being thwarted all the time by ,. It came to the point where ,, ;, and : had to be separated from each other and sentences. At one time sentences looked like this: "Many animals are in the zoo like lions bears and giraffes the ones I like the most are the elephants they eat peanuts!" *Shivers*

None of the other punctuation marks ever fought over their place, that's why we can easily pick out when to use one(., ?, !). But the sentence modifiers all wanted a piece of the Anglo-Cake, if you will.

So push came to shove, shove came to staple, and staple came to turning paper back into pulp when ! had an idea! He said, "WHY DON'T YOU JUST BATTLE IT OUT!!!" (Everything he said was in caps b/c he's freaking !...(!!!!!!!!!!)).

The three thought about it...and thought about it some more. Finally they came to grips with what had to be done, a battle for the Sentence must take place. Knowing that the battle was going to be a messy one !, ., and ? (the rulers of grammar) deployed <, [, and ( to hold them back. "Parenthetical Wall Phase" they called it. Once the first blow was struck, by who else than ,, <, [, and ( enacted their jobs. No one was alive to see this, but it is speculated this is what it looked like: <[(,;;;:::,:,,;,,::,,;,,,;:,,,,,,,,,,,:::;;;;;;,,;,,,;,;,,;,,;,,;,;;,:::,:;;;;)]>

It was obvious comma would win, for it was used more and stronger. :, the least frequently used, decided he was better off just leading for lists: Groceries, Locations, Parts, etc. But he was honored with two spaces between him and the list. ; was the second to give in at the fight. It earned almost the position of the mighty .. It would be able to end sentences, inside sentences - the comma splice. Finally, ,, slashed and torn but as stubborn as ever remained in the Parenthetical Wall still muttering profanities over his lessers when ? came to him and asked, "What is it you want?" , replied,"I want to be the most important symbol in the world!" "How is this possible? You think you can prove yourself through strength? Do you think you are better because you deserve to be? Don't you know we aren't given gifts? What would the world be like if talents were given and not earned?" With that , thought. , then realized he couldn't just waltz in and take over everything and expect to be the most important symbol. He finally understood what it meant to be a ,.

Since then, ,, has been trying to help out any way he can to make writing more pleasant. You can find him in: ',", ; ( ; looked different before , helped him out), and of course ,. He is used in a variety of ways and is the most typed symbol on the keyboard.

To this day , hasn't forgotten what it means to be a ,.






Happy Friday!