re: LUNCH THRAY---The "hi how are you" edition

Football-egory: LSU football in an eggshell

Once upon a time there was a chicken that was the finest chicken in the land. He established the best brood in the land. When his brood matured, they laid the best eggs and produced the best chickens in the entire land.

Before the farmer knew what he had he was careless in securing this chicken. One day this chicken flew the coop. Fortunately, the farmer mended the coop before the next best chicken left.

Over time, the farmer realized that this chicken was as good as the best chicken in the land. And the brood was just as good as before, because it was all from that best chicken's bloodline. He decided to make a business of it, so he started Had Matter Farms. He named the second best chicken, now the first best at Had Matter Farms, Lester.

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Soon, Had Matter farms grew to a profitable company. Wealthy backers were invested in the yield from these chickens. And customers couldn't get enough of the wonderful eggs.

Had Matter farms was soon voted the Nation's Best Eggs, and even won first place at the annual Harvest competition. This award was only won because of that first chicken's brood, though.

And then one day, that first chicken, before Had Matter was even a farm, wound up at a farm in a nearby land.

All of a sudden, Had Matter Farms had competition for the first time, and it was from the patriarch of its own brood!

No longer did Had Matter Farms get less praise from its customers. It did not place first at the Harvest competition!

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Through the years, while Lester's brood was still a good one, there was too much competition from that nearby farm.

To fix this, the farmer sought out good chicks from other farms to better his brood when they matured. The farmer sold some good chickens to get better chickens to strengthen his brood as well.

Still, Had Matter Farms did not perform as well as the nearby farm.

Eventually, the backers were reluctant to give as much, and the customers began to criticize Had Matter Farms because of seeing the better product of the nearby farm.

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After a few more years, the farmer made a brood that had some of the nation's best chickens, and the farmer still couldn't win the Harvest competition and still wasn't as good as the nearby farm.

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Then one day the Farmer came up with an idea to get back on top. He had to start from the top by replacing Lester with a brood leader that showed great promise. He couldn't just replace Lester, whose bloodline WAS Had Matter Farms. He had to have a reason to replace Lester and have as good a chicken to replace him. The farmer secretly sought out the best chickens from farms all over the land. He finally found one that would be have the best brood for Had Matter farms.

It was then time to replace Lester.

He brought Lester out back, and grabbed the hatchet off the wall. He placed Lester on a stump and swung the axe down on the Lester's neck, not fully severing it. The farmer then let the backers and customers know that Lester was injured and may not live.

The farmer then went to the farm to get the new chicken, but that farmer wouldn't sell him the chicken! Not for any price!

By the time the farmer returned, overwhelming support for Had Matter Farm's patriarchal chicken, Lester, rained down from outspoken backers and customers. The farmer knew he had to fix the situation since he couldn't get his chicken.

Fortunately, chickens can live a while even with their head cut off. So, the farmer used a bandaid to fasten Lester's head back on his body. The farmer notified everyone that Lester would pull through and still be a Had Matter farms chicken!

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Months passed by and everything returned to normal after some changes. A few good chickens at Had Matter Farms had to be exchanged for a slightly better chicken to keep Had Matter Farms competitive in the egg market. Had Matter Farms still made good eggs, but not the best. That nearby farm still had a much better brood from that original chicken. Other farms started giving Had Matter Farms competition as well. Backer and customer skepticism and negativity creeped back into the forefront of Had Matter farms.

But Lester was still THE chicken at Had Matter farms.

And to this day, Had Matter Farms still exists. And to this day, if you go there, you can see the scar across Lester's neck. It's never fully healed. And it won't ever fully heal.



THE END