re: I don't know how regular folk get by with multiple kids. The cost is absurd.

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Either they're lying or they have money to throw away. I don't care what they do but this notion that kids are expensive is a lie. Nobody in the history of the world set a budget to have kids.

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It is though. Let's say that you both work, which I'd say is more common than not these days.

You're looking at daycare or taking a hit in income for one parent not to work. You're on a family heath plan now which is more expensive, diapers, formula, doctor's visits, dental, school expenses, grocery expenses, and should you choose to provide them - car insurance, cell phone, vehicles, help with college.

The average cost in the US to raise a child to 18 is roughly 300k. That's almost 17k/yr. Sure, if you are extremely frugal you can do it cheaper, but outside of being on government assistance, it's going to cost you plenty of money.

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It’s not really a kids are expensive argument, it’s just that lots of shite is expensive.

I’ve read through this whole thread and it seems for people like you, the damn car insurance I pay for my son alone would break your budget.

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I don't have a budget. I just give my kids what they need and a little extra every now and then. I know everything is expensive. It doesn't mean I have to budget 30k or more a year for my kids either. My daughter will be driving next year. She's going to work and learn to pay her bills. If she can't afford it, she doesn't drive until she can afford it. It's simple. I'm not a parent that will just give them everything. I don't owe them anything except the necessities. My parents didn't buy me a vehicle or pay my insurance.

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My ex wife never worked in 12 years of marriage. I paid daycare for 2 years at 1000 a month

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How hard did you get railed in the divorce?

How hard did you get railed in the divorce?

It cost me 800 dollars and zero child support. I guess I went in well lubed lol.

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My youngest is 17, but I'd estimate I probably spend a few k more on just payroll deductions for health insurance, dental insurance, vision etc for having a family plan vs individual or individual and spouse. But because it comes directly out of my paycheck, people might not consider that.

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I didn't consider that. It's about 600 a month for both.

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Have you ever fed a teenager? You'd be spending more than 5k on food alone for 2 kids more than likely.

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They don't want to eat much unless it's junk food so I cut it out along with soft drinks. I spend on good food. But I'm not going crazy.

Clothes is from Shein or Ebay. So that's cheap. Once in awhile I'll take them shopping at Dillard's and belks etc and that's about 1000 a year.

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It cost me 800 dollars and zero child support. I guess I went in well lubed lol.

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Damn. You lucked out compared to other guys i know who pretty much have their lives go to shite for at least 5 years post divorce. Some guys never recover.

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Damn. You lucked out compared to other guys i know who pretty much have their lives go to shite for at least 5 years post divorce. Some guys never recover.

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I'll tell you how it happened but I'll be honest, my kids fricking suffered. They are much better now.

We split in 2019. Her nephew and his gf moved in when I moved out. She wanted me to give her 2500 a month. So I did until I learned she was going out every night and depriving my kids.
I cut it out and gave her 500 a month.

She got pissed and just wanted my money. I told her to go frick herself. Got me a 1200 a month apt, furnished it for 6k. Covid rolls around and I go on unemployment. I bring my kids with me since I'm. Unemployed and I'm bringing home 4k a month from Texas unemployment. I take them to school 30 minutes away and pick them up every day.

She takes me to court for child support during that time. They ask me if I'll agree to 1300 a month CS and I say yes. Judge finds out im unemployed and kids are living with me. Zero child support.

The end of 2020 I go back to work and kids go live with her. I quit paying her car note so she knows they're fixing to come get her car and pitches a fit. Don't care not my problem.

She's working making 2500 a month. Moves a meth head into her house. Threatens me with a attorney. Ok I go to hire one and they want $5k. I hold off because I know she can't afford an attorney. I give her 500 - 1000 a month to help with kids. We couldn't talk to each for years. She sends me divorce papers drawn up by her family saying I need to pay 2500. I threw them back at her and told her I'm not paying that. She can't afford an attorney so frick it.

Fast forward 5 years and I file for divorce. 800 bucks uncontested. I have custody of my kids. She lost her job in 2022 and moved into the meth heads house. lost every vehicle she's had etc. I don't take them to see her often because she lives in a shite hole. It's her choice. She finally realized my kids weren't going to have a good life with her so agreed they stay with me.

It was hell for 6 years but it paid off. Yes I know I got lucky.

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More power to you. I hate to see animals or kids hurting.

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Same here. My kids have coverage...the animals however get treated at home for the most part and they do better than a lot of people's pets that regularly go to vets.

We only have one vet in our county and they are booked solid.

Our first born was a difficult time. (1980)
Neonatal intensive care, 2 surgeries before he was 10 days old. Released after 28 days. I woke up $85k in debt. I had started my business 8 mos earlier. Lots beans and weiners for dinner. . Blue Cross Blue Shield maternity only covers well baby care. Occupational and Physical therapy for the next 16 years.
That’s just money and more money.
Woman's Hosp in BR discharged my wife and she was the only one being wheeled to the door without her baby, that screwed me up for a long time.