One night little Johnny gets up to go to the bathroom. As he's walking down the hall he hears noises coming out of his parents bedroom. He looks in to see what is going on. He just shakes his head and walks down the hall muttering, "And she yells at me for sucking my thumb"

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Posted by double d

Amarillo by morning

Member since Jun 2004

17049 posts

Posted on 2/15/17 at 2:36 pm to Ajo Devil

LSU Basketball

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Posted by Pavoloco83

Acworth Ga. too many damn dawgs

Member since Nov 2013

15347 posts

Posted on 2/15/17 at 2:59 pm to foshizzle

One day an Alabama fan calls 911 in a panic.

Bama Fan: Hep me! Hep me! my penis dun turnt orange!

911 operator: Calm down sir, what were you doing just prior to calling?

Bama Fan: Not a dang thang other that watchin a porno movie and eatin cheetos!

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Posted by OweO

Plaquemine, La

Member since Sep 2009

119998 posts

Posted on 2/15/17 at 3:18 pm to LSU Tigerhead

You know how you make holy water? You burn the hell out of it.

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Posted by Mr. Shake

The Sickbed of Cuchulainn

Member since Dec 2009

817 posts

Posted on 2/15/17 at 3:46 pm to LSU Tigerhead

A preacher, who was the spitting image of Conway Twitty, moved to a new church in a small town. He decided on his first day there, he would go around to all the nearby houses and introduce himself.

At the first house, an old lady opened the door and said "Conway Twitty!". The preacher replied, "no ma'am, I'm just the preacher at the new church down the road, we'd love to have you at services sometime."

At the second house, an even older lady opened the door and screamed "Conway Twitty!". The preacher replied, "no ma'am, I'm just the preacher at the new church down the road, we'd love to have you at services sometime."

At the third house, a buxom blonde covering herself with a towel answered the door and squealed "Conway Twitty!" The preacher replied "Hello, Darlin..."

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