re: Good Morning Thread

open championship and a pot of coffee

mornin b-beer & gadnot

what a contrast of 2 posters you 2 are.

b-beer is a recovering alcoholic who still drinks

gad is going on 3 weeks sober. there has gotta be another chip for that coming to him soon.

strike 2

I survived Barry.

Ok. Here’s my best skillet oriented story.


So there was a mother of three boys, who wanted to grow up to be pimps........

.....They were always getting into trouble at school, cursing and swearing, and generally terrible boys. So the mother decided to spend some quality time with them one morning, by making them breakfast.

She calls the boys downstairs for breakfast and they sit at the table. Mother lovingly says to oldest son, "What would you like for breakfast?" The oldest son says, "Look here Trick, make me some damn pancakes!" The mother begins to fume. In a fit of rage she takes her iron skillet and BAM, smashes it across the oldest sons face!

She looks at the middle son and says, "What would you like for breakfast?" The middle son replies, "If you don't take your ho arse over there and make me some pancakes!" Blinded by rage, the mother says, "what What WHAT!" and BAAAM!, cracks the middle son over the head with the iron skillet!

The mother finally moves to the youngest son and says, "Think carefully. What do you want for breakfast?" The youngest son looks at his mom, then gazes down at his two older brothers laying on the floor bleeding. He looks up at his mother and says, "Damn Biatch! I sure as hell don't want any mothafrickin pancakes!

i can't believe i read all that garbage. i hope you get foot cancer.


the greatest o-t story ever told, compliments of martini. every time i read it i end up rolling around on the floor lol'ing my arse off.



“I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my dog at Walmart and standing in line at the check out.

“A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

“On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting the Purina Diet again although I probably shouldn’t because I’d ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

“I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

“I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

“Horrified, she asked if I’d ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned by the dog food. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle’s arse and a car hit me.

“I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.”

Sunday red gravy on the simmer

quote:

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Sunday red gravy on the simmer

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i miss family sunday meals



roast beef
rice & gravy
yorkshire pudding
sauteed mushrooms
potato salad
english peas
cooked baby carrots

quote:

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Morning LCA
Same question.
Are you terribly hungover or still drunk?

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Neither. Would like a mimosa but out of town at my MiL's to take her to my great-nephew's Christening and then luncheon. The ever-delightful Mrs LCA is in Atlanta teaching a class so it fell to me.

Additionally, I slammed my finger in a cardoor for yesterday, cutting it in 2 places...

She is not much on the booze...