Good Morning Thread

Rise and Shine 6am before the gmt gets posted

Hardees sausage biscuit

1071 Turks defeat the Byzantine army under Emperor Romanus IV at Manzikert, Eastern Turkey.

1429 Joan of Arc makes a triumphant entry into Paris.

1789 The Constituent Assembly in Versailles, France, approves the final version of the Declaration of Human Rights.

1862 Confederate General Thomas ‘Stonewall’ Jackson seizes Manassas Junction, Virginia, and moves to encircle Union forces under General John Pope.

1883 The Indonesian island of Krakatoa erupts in the largest explosion recorded in history, heard 2,200 miles away in Madagascar. The resulting destruction sends volcanic ash up 50 miles into the atmosphere and kills almost 36,000 people--both on the island itself and from the resulting 131-foot tidal waves that obliterate 163 villages on the shores of nearby Java and Sumatra.

1920 The 19th Amendment to the Constitution is officially ratified, giving women the right to vote.

1943 The United States recognizes the French Committee of National Liberation.

1957 Ford Motor Company reveals the Edsel, its latest luxury car.

1966 South African Defense Force troops attack a People's Liberation Army of Nambia at Omugulugwombashe, the first battle of the 22-year Namibian War of Independence.

1970 A nationwide Women's Strike for Equality, led by Betty Friedan on the 50th anniversary of the passage of the 19th Amendment calls attention to unequal pay and other gender inequalities in America.



JOTD: A man in an unhappy marriage has an attractive secretary

One day, the sexual tension between him and his secretary gets to be too much to bear, and in the middle of the work day they rush out in secret, grab a hotel, and frick all afternoon. The sex was so good that both of them pass out. When the man wakes up, he realizes it's 7:00 pm, and he's late for dinner.

Realizing that his wife is going to be very angry at him and demand to know where he's been, he decides to take his shoes and run them through the grass outside as much as he can. After his shoes get good and scuffed with grass, he drives home.

His wife, predictably, is there waiting for him, and madder than the fire of a thousand suns. His food is on the table, already cold. She is holding a frying pan, and demands to know where he was.

"Honey," he said. "I'm not going to lie to you. I was having sex with my secretary all afternoon in a hotel. That is the unvarnished truth."

Suspicious, his wife looks him up and down. Then she notices the grass stains on his shoes.

"You lying sack of shite," she says. "You've been off playing golf, haven't you!"