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Today in History: March 8

1618 Johannes Kepler discovers the third Law of Planetary Motion.

1862 On the second day of the Battle of Pea Ridge, Confederate forces, including some Indian troops, under General Earl Van Dorn surprise Union troops, but the Union troops win the battle.

1880 President Rutherford B. Hayes declares that the United States will have jurisdiction over any canal built across the Isthmus of Panama.

1904 The Bundestag in Germany lifts the ban on the Jesuit order of priests.

1908 The House of Commons, London, turns down the women's suffrage bill.

1909 Pope Pius X lifts the church ban on interfaith marriages in Hungary.

1941 Martial law is proclaimed in Holland in order to extinguish any anti-Nazi protests.

1965 More than 4,000 Marines land at Da Nang in South Vietnam and become the first U.S. combat troops in Vietnam.

Born on March 8

1783 Hannah Hoes Van Buren, wife of Martin Van Buren

1879 Otto Hahn, co-discoverer of nuclear fission

1902 Louise Beavers, film actress.


JOTD
A nine-year-old boy was in his mother’s bedroom while his father was away at work.

Suddenly, he heard his mother coming in with a man and hid in the closet. The two kissed, then began to make out, before suddenly the front door opened and the boy could hear his father calling from downstairs. His mother quickly took her lover and shoved him into the closet, unaware that her son was in there.
"Dark in here," the boy says.
"Yes, it is," the man replies.
"I have a baseball."
"That's nice."
"Want to buy it?"
"No, thanks."
"That's my dad outside."
"How much did you say the baseball was again?"
"$250."
The man reluctantly paid the boy, and after waiting for an hour, finally managed to sneak out of the house unseen.
A few weeks later, it happens again.
"Dark in here," the boy says.
"Yes, it is," the man replies.
"I have a baseball glove."
"That's nice."
"Want to buy it?"
"No, thanks."
"I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad."
"How much did you say the glove was again?"
"$750."
"Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!"
"I can't. I sold them," the boy replies.
"Really? How much did you sell them for?"
"$1,000."
"It's terrible to over-charge your friends like that! That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.
"Dark in here," the boy says.
The priest growls. "Don't start that shite again."