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re: Gallup poll shows Americans are becoming more isolated with less friendships
Posted on 8/23/24 at 10:09 am to RaoulDuke504
Posted on 8/23/24 at 10:09 am to RaoulDuke504
Add a special needs child to the family and it's even worse. My wife and I find it harder and harder to get out even for a quiet dinner much less spend time with friends. And have a special needs child and you truly find out who's a friend... that list dwindles down to .... 1, 0?
0
Posted on 8/23/24 at 10:12 am to tiggerthetooth
quote:
The only way to overcome this is having a big family. The blood connection will always supersede all the others, including adoption.
I don't think I could disagree more.
Posted on 8/23/24 at 10:41 am to SloaneRanger
quote:
Downvote away, but life was much better 40 years ago before computers and social media took over.
100%.
I don't have any real friends any more. I used to have a lot. When my wife and I first got married (2008), we had five couples that we would hang out with regularly. I used to host get togethers for football games on Saturdays. We went on a few couples trips to the beach. One big trip to San Francisco. Even outside of those close friends, we had friends from high school and college that would invite us to get togethers every now and then. None of those relationships have been maintained.
Everything now is about productivity, and if I'm not being productive, I have opportunities to zone out. Social media and my phone seems to suck up my free time because I literally feel like I'm exhausted to the point that I need to do something mindless.
Even at work - I used to love eating lunch with coworkers. My first 6 years of working, I had multiple groups where I would hang out with them and socialize. Now I hole up by myself and watch YouTube or scroll Instagram. Or I catch up on more work.
My only social experiences now involve my side job. We don't have anyone over for dinner. We don't go to parties. The idea of it just seems too busy. Granted I have two kids, so we're worn out by them. But we've absolutely failed in maintaining and cultivating social relationships with peers.
It's a bit comforting knowing that others are experiencing a similar trend, but it's not everybody. I wonder what's different about them versus who I've become.
Posted on 8/23/24 at 10:45 am to RaoulDuke504
This happened to me 40 years ago
Posted on 8/23/24 at 10:47 am to BamaCoaster
quote:
Been a trend for awhile. Bowling Alone by Robert Putnam tackled the subject two decades ago.
And Putnam was called fascist, racist, sexist, etc, for laying out the data. But everything he predicted came to pass.
Posted on 8/23/24 at 10:48 am to lowhound
quote:
More & more people just zone out watching stupid reels and streaming videos to relax instead of going down to the local bar, or gym, or study group, etc.
Exactly. If I'm being honest, going out with people feels like a chore.
Is that because we've disembodied our social interactions? There's much less physical strain (if strain is the right word) to "socialize" via a phone with parasocial relationships. Not only that, the experiences on social media feel like they are more rewarding than actual relationships, which require conversation, memory, generosity, compassion, consideration, and interest for another person. Social media is all about MY experience benefitting from content. For the content creator, it's all about THEIR financial gain.
Real relationships should function as a positive experience for both parties. But that takes effort. Also, think about any friendships or acquaintances you've had that were self-centered, self-absorbed and made it all about them without caring much about you. Felt empty, right? How is that not exactly what social media is? We've just become that self-absorbed person who gets constant hits of reinforced dopamine, which inspires us to continue going on as the person who feels entitled to those affirmations.
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