- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message

Derek Chauvin Charged With Assaulting Inmate’s Shiv
Posted on 11/29/23 at 7:12 am
Posted on 11/29/23 at 7:12 am
quote:
Derek Chauvin Charged With Assaulting Inmate's Shiv
Babylon Bee
Former police officer Derek Chauvin was charged with yet another appalling atrocity today after allegedly assaulting a fellow inmate's shiv with his body while serving time for the 2020 death of George Floyd.
"The sheer heinous monstrosity of this man is disturbing," said Federal Correction Institution spokesman Greg Albertson. "According to information we were given by the victimized inmate, Mr. Chauvin stubbornly stood in the way of this gentlemen's crudely made prison shiv. Mr. Chauvin then repeatedly leaned his body into the shiv without the shiv's consent. We are currently taking disciplinary measures against Mr. Chauvin and pursuing additional criminal charges."
Chauvin is serving simultaneous sentences for civil rights violations and second-degree murder. A fellow inmate at the facility claimed to have witnessed Chauvin's brutal attack on the shiv. "Dude has no right to get in the way of a shiv like that," said convicted felon "Sneaky" Pete Ramirez. "That man's shank was just minding its own business and doesn't need some evil white man imposing his privilege. It's just wrong."
Posted on 11/29/23 at 7:25 am to goofball
Thankfully, since the shiv’s civil rights are implicated, there can be both federal and state charges brought. Justice will be done!
Posted on 11/29/23 at 7:28 am to MAXtheTIGER
quote:
Thankfully, since the shiv’s civil rights are implicated, there can be both federal and state charges brought. Justice will be done!
Can we get a 100% off sale at Target now?
Posted on 11/29/23 at 7:30 am to goofball
I had to google what a shiv was. Glad I didn’t know.
Posted on 11/29/23 at 7:34 am to Auburn80
quote:
Was it a shiv of color?
I hope not or cities will burn in “mostly peaceful” protests.
Posted on 11/29/23 at 7:41 am to goofball
quote:
said convicted felon "Sneaky" Pete Ramirez
Posted on 11/29/23 at 9:27 am to goofball
Shiv Lives Matter!!
Can he be charged with a hate crime?
Can he be charged with a hate crime?
Posted on 11/29/23 at 9:48 am to goofball
The initial reading looked like it came from the Bee.
Popular
Back to top
