re: Anyone ever had a battery so dead the starter won’t make a sound and the hood won’t open?

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Eta: and now that the battery is working the hood release is working fine

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Its working cause it was released mechanically and knocked the crud off the mechanism....it ain't got but one wire ran to it and that is the cable running from the latch to the inside of the car. Electrical shite can and does work on a car with only one wire using the chasis for a return path but the hood release latch ain't one of these situations....

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Not the hood, but VW Jetta wagons have an electronic rear hatch release. You can't open the rear hatch if the battery is dead or disconnected. That's the only situation like that that I've ever encountered.

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My wife has had 2 BMWs in the last 20 years which had to have the stereo replaced when the battery was disconnected. Not at all uncommon in beamers. Almost all of them require a factory reset of the stereo to replace the battery unless you parallel another battery into the system before disconnecting the one in the car.

You also have to buy parts for them using the VIN....because the oil pump, for example, used in June of 2013 will most likely be different than the oil pump used in August of the same year...therefore different filter sizes. Silliest cars ever built....German engineering is waaaaaayyyyyy over rated....