re: am i wrong for spending money this way?

Giving away money before dying doesn't keep the taxman at bay. The government looks at all gifts given over your lifetime plus what remains in her estate at death to determine estate taxes. Of course, if she gave less than the minimum annual allowance (about $12,000 on average the last decade) to each beneficiary, then that's ok.

You could have given them a keepsake as a christmas present and gave the kids money in a form of some type of investment.

Its your money to do as you please, but its always a smart idea to put some to the side before making a decision to do anything.

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Naw, besides the cash mom left insurance policies, a house, other property and investments. I doubt we will be going broke anytime soon.

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Yeah. All this shite belongs to all the heirs.

On top of this...your mother obviously had other husbands than your father. Are they still living? Was she still married? Did they have community property before he died if not? Did he will everything to her? The fact that you only have 1 "full" sibling doesn't mean shite. She had other kids. They are entitled to just as much of the estate as you are.

As far as your husband not getting shite if you divorce...were any of the things you say he won't get acquired during your marriage? If so, it doesn't matter whose name is on it. Yall apparently didn't date long before getting married so I won't even go into stuff acquired while dating that he could stake a claim to because of paying into the acquisition of that stuff, regardless of whose name is on it.

Basically, it sounds like you're one of those people who think because your name is on something, that you own it exclusively. And that because you were mom's favorite and her first child from her first marriage that it means you can say who gets what. Guess what....if mama didn't leave a will, you're fricked.