2030 Cultural Alliances

As you know, the law of the land is that all 330,000,000 of us Americans must mystically divide into 2 roughly even teams that hate each other, and the fact that each of us 330,000,000 might actually think slightly differently is strictly forbidden in all discussion.

That being said, recent events have indicated that the current teams are unsustainable and maybe some trades are in order.

To kick off this exercise, I quote the last universally liked president, George Washington who,on his last day of office, said “I quit, y’all ate fricked, long live the OT”

To catch you up on things, the last 40 years of alliances have had some strange occurrences.

On one corner, professors at Yale are aligned with the drug dealers of inner city Baltimore. On the other corner, Fortune 500 CEO’s and people with more guns than teeth have taken a fond liking to each other.

On one corner; both gangs, and the people most likely to robbed by gangs, are in agreement. On the other corner, both the person that hasn’t missed church in 50 years, and the person that bought the church and turned it into a Wendy’s, appear to be on the same page.

So what do will the potential teams look like 9-10 years from now? Let’s look at the possibilities.

A: Teams are largely divided on a religious/not religious basis. This would create a holy war consisting of rural evangelical white Christians and the growing minority contingent vs. a coalition Academia, the wealthy, and white college kids.

B. Teams are largely divided on woke/non-woke basis. In this scenario the wealthy get split in half, Academia and white college kids go one way (taking soccer moms with them), evangelical whites and Hispanics align with what were the classic liberals and go the other way.

C. Teams are aligned on a nationalist/globalist basis. This will put the working classes of all ethnicities together against immigrant, upper middle, and upper classes. Academia and college kids go more globalist due to environment. (Note: this one has been a historical favorite, however it’s been voted “Most likely to result in Gulags” by both the Moscow Times and the Beijing Weekly. The Nov. 14th, 1939 issue of the Berlin Bugle gave it two thumbs up, however)

D. Teams are aligned on a libertarian/authoritarian basis. There’s no real way to split up boundaries on this one. The sheer number of trades would be astronomical.

E. Team alignments stay as-is based on taxes, and nothing changes.

What say you, OT?