re: How the frick do you poach an egg?

1 pot
kosher salt to season
bin with ice cold water to shock eggs

1. boil salted water in a pot. The salt will help the boil stay consistent.
2. stir the water in a circular motion. Keep it going.
3. a: Turn heat down
3. b: Crack your eggs and drop them on the outside of the ring of water.
4. Carefully keep your water spinning around the pot. If you break a yolk, just start over with a new pot of water.
5. Check for the consistency you want i.e. runny, hardboiled, soft
6. carefully remove the eggs and shock them in the cold water
7. To heat up use a skillet and some water

That's the easiest way I know. Takes some patience to get the technique down, but once you do you will rarely mess up.