re: Sorry to post on Christmas night

I wish you the best.

For many years I fought whether I had a "problem". I used to take a few week or even a 6 month sabbatical from drinking thinking that if I could do it I did not have a problem. I didn't need to drink every day, but once I started, I did not stop.

I got sober for the first time in AA in December 1985. I stayed away from alcohol for 9 years. The last 4 of them I quit going to AA. I started experimenting again with a drink here and there. But I vowed that if I ever drank like I did before I would have to quit for good. I was "out and about" from April 1995 until November 1995 and was truly crazy.

By the Grace of God I got sober again in November 1995 and have been sober since.

If you think you have a problem or if loved ones are suggesting that you have a problem, you owe it to yourself to find out. As far as I am concerned, the easiest was is AA but there are other ways. Do yourself a favor and find out how long you can go without a drink/drug. The more days you can put between yourself and the last drink will give you a clearer mind.

I will give you this warning, though, if you do the research and conclude that you do have a drinking problem, it will ruin your drinking forever. This is because any program you go to will say that once you are aware that drinking is a problem for you, you have an obligation to take responsibility to treat the problem. I can tell you that knowing what I knew in early 1995 and abandoning my responsibility to treat my alcoholism made my drinking less fun.

One last thing, do not get involved in the academic exercise of arguing whether alcoholism is a disease, a matter of self control, or some moral failing. I know people who died arguing this rather than treating the problem. At this point it makes no difference. If you have a problem, treat it. You can figure out the cause of the problem somewhere down the road.

I've babbled enough. Get some help to find out if you have a problem. If you do, treat it. Good luck!