Just a little check in for accountability.

My wife and I took "vacation" this week, which has consisted of a lot of puzzles, walks, movies, and generally lazing about. As a result, I've gained a few pounds. Back up to 187 as of this morning, although I anticipate that some of that is water weight since I had a pretty high sodium meal around 8 PM last night.

Just had some chocolate protein powder banana pancakes and I'm gonna go on a long walk with our dog. My wife has to work tomorrow and I have a ton of schoolwork to do before another 3 day stint of having little to do before going back to real life.

On other fronts, I had a virtual interview with KPMG yesterday afternoon. It went okay, other than my internet deciding that it wanted to cut out halfway through. Very embarrassing, but I made some light humor about it toward the end, which may have saved it.

Being under 185 and trying to lose weight is by far the most difficult part of all of this. I sat anywhere from 181-185 in high school without thinking about what I was putting in my body. It seems like that's where I naturally sit, despite my height. I know it's not good for my joints, but even the brief stint of being at 179 was very difficult to maintain and I couldn't seem to drop below that with any consistency. After runs sometimes I'd be at 177 or so, but the next morning I'd be back up to 181 or 182. Losing 50 pounds was easy. Losing 60 pounds is proving to be damn near impossible.

However, I know that I haven't been as strict as possible and that's on me. If I dial in my macros and try to adopt a 12 hour window I think I can get down to 175 with some consistency. I have cut out alcohol almost completely the past month. I drank a few beers the other day and I just felt like trash the next day. Whiskey is my drink of choice, but it's too easy to take that too far.

Despite my struggles, I have been pretty excited looking in the mirror. Especially around 180, I could actually see my abs which hasn't been the case......ever? I don't know, I just look and feel very healthy, and I think I could be more grateful. I remember what it feels like to be embarrassed to walk out the front door. frick being proud of my accomplishments, frick the scale, frick everything else really because the feeling of knowing that I don't look like a sloppy disgusting human when I go out in public has been worth every hunger pang and every setback I've encountered thus far.

I'll check back in sometime.