I actually used to look forward to reading the paper with a cup of coffee in the morning. It was a whole sensory experience. The feel of the paper, the sight of the print, the smell of the coffee and paper, the taste of the coffee, and the sound of the paper rustling as the page turned! And if someone dared to interfere with the morning ritual, I could hold the paper up as a shield and still read it.

Then I made the most disturbing discovery of my life. That wonderful paper, the source of so much information and entertainment, was brainwashing me into a mindless libtard. Front section, 90% liberal, state/local/opinion B section was 95% liberal, even the comics were liberally invaded by Doonesbury in comic strip clothing. But there was the sacrosanct sports section and the classifieds. Then technology killed the classified, and suddenly “sports journalists” replaced writers and reporters and injected an unhealthy dose of liberalism in my last bastion of freedom! And to make matters worse, I was too young to keep tract of my friends and associates in the obituaries! Only my dog was getting my money’s worth out of the Picayune and/or Advocate with his much loved morning dump.

I had to abandon the leftist mind control. I had to drink my coffee while reading a book. Only my dog’s morning dump remained satisfying because my neighbor gives me her day old paper.

Then I discovered Tigerdroppings! LSU sports, the Saints, the SEC oh my! Politics with both sides for world, national, state, and local! The OT for comics, book thread, even a classified. Nirvana!

If only my iPad could shield me from unwanted interference with my first cup.