re: I’m at a serious crossroads in my life about Hot sauce..

For Mexican hot sauces, El Yucateco has the best quality across the board. Their green is good too.

Tapatio is the cheap, more universal Mexican hot sauce.

Secret Aardvark Habanero is a good one if you want more of a mustard base.

For more traditional hot sauces, Crystal really is as good as I've found. If you want hotter, cool, but it tends to destroy the taste if it's much hotter.