re: I don’t get it- How is Louisiana failing this bad?

Sounds like you've weighed the options and will move. There is nothing wrong with that nor should you have to necessarily stay where you went to school and college. My dad grew up in California and moved to Louisiana in the 60s. You won't be the last to choose a similar path. It's exciting to find a new place to move to and settle in. Move close to the mountains or hills or close to a nice lake. Congratulations on the catharsis and for making the hard choice!

PS: You may want to choose a place with a nice climate. I spent some time this summer in Pennsylvania, Wisconsin and Colorado. There is something to be said for nice moderate temperatures. You can even camp out in those places in the summer. Don't limit yourself to the south and use a credit card that rewards in airline frequent flyer miles for your visits.