re: Why does religious music, from a technical perspective, suck?

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Christians are pretty "narrow minded" so you can't play them anything different or they would reject you. So contemporary christian bands have to just regurgitate chord progressions and melodies that these people have already heard.

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Maybe, but not always. Some of the most famous acts of the modern Christian era don't really fit that mold. They probably succeeded precisely because they weren't just poppy gibberish or bland "contemporary Christian music" performers:

Strange mixed race rap group (DC Talk), quirky alternative act from Australia (Newsboys), acoustic act that was unique for both Christian and secular music at the time (Jars of Clay).