re: Just watched a documentary on 40 year old virgins on netflix

I was a virgin til I was 23 also. Even after I got laid by some rando from PoF, I still had bad luck with women for years. I always made it a big deal. I always put them on a pedestal. I thought it was the right thing to do. I'd message one or two girls at a time on dating apps, and if I ever got a response I was obsessed. I would spend all day anticipating the next message or text. What kind of date I want to go on, what do I need to do to be more attractive, etc. The honest truth is my luck turned around when I stopped giving a shite and did my own thing. All of a sudden I was getting more dates. Most of them shitty, sure, but dates nonetheless. More dates is more practice and confidence building. Met the woman who is now my wife and never looked back.

Confidence isn't cockiness, it's aloofness. Going on dates and meeting women is great, but you have to honestly be okay with just being on your own and whackin' it or playing video games at home or whatever. Be comfortable with yourself and the person you are. The woman has to feel like when she's with you, you want to be there but you don't need to be.. not that you feel like you have to be to feed your ego and get laid.

If/when you get a date, dont get worked up about it.. the girl is just another person with her own interests and values. You go on this date and learn about the person with no expectations. Usually you can tell within 5-10 minutes if the date is going poorly. If it is, just finish it out quickly and go on about your business and move on. It's not anyone's fault if you're incompatible. Be an adult about it. If it goes well you'll know, and you'll go on more dates (most likely). If it fizzles out after a few dates, that's fine too. You're fine being by yourself too. Aloofness.

Also.. don't always swing for the fences. Go on dates with girls you may think you're better looking than they are. It's okay; if you're lucky, some girl out of your league will give you a chance and then you need to hit the home run. But more often than not, people who are bad with women put up a barricade of 'shes not hot enough' to avoid contacting perfectly fine women in their own league. It's a strange mix of saving their own ego with a lack of confidence.