re: How should I handle this situation figuring out my Dad used my birth money?

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I would say that requirement/commitment ends when the kid turns 18. And it certainly doesn't require college, a car, etc.

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It doesn't, but if they decide to, it's pretty crappy to expect them to owe you, at least without the discussion. My parents covered my credit card until I graduated. I was left with 4k in CC debt right away when I got a job. I don't hold that against them or anything. I was forced to pay for my fraternity dues out of savings at first (they eventually realized living in the house was cheaper than my apartment) because they didn't think it was necessary. I get that. I never EXPECTED anything financially from them, but was lucky enough to get it. If I found out after the fact that they raided all my investments, savings bonds, etc. to do so, I'd be pissed. Anyone saying any differently in this thread is a liar. Is it worth not speaking to them, no (unless there are other circumstances). Do I imagine I'd ever get anything from them or deserve it....no. But that has no bearing on the fact that what they did was not the right way to do it. Tell me upfront what the situation is. Like you all said, you are an adult by that time, you're parents should treat you like one and keep you informed of your financial situation. I can't think of a single good reason why a parent wouldn't tell you they had to dip into your money. So therefore, it's hard to see how it's done with good intent.

I see a lot of people trying to flex how financially responsible and independent they are in this thread. But any way you slice it, somethings fishy if a parent is spending your money without telling you. Even if it is for you. For the example of Disney trips, I'm sure you told your kids you were using their money and they likely took pride in it. They learned a lesson about value and independence. Absolutely nothing wrong with that and actually a good thing. But telling your kid you'll buy them a car then drain their own account to do so is shitty. Now forcing them to buy their own isn't bad, but you are setting them up under false pretenses any other way and it's dishonest. Being dishonest is not the greatest parenting style IMHO.