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re: How does a basic prenuptial agreement work?

Posted on 4/26/16 at 8:09 am to
Posted by Tigerfan56
Member since May 2010
10521 posts
Posted on 4/26/16 at 8:09 am to
Appreciate the advice and knowledge everyone. Not sure why some of you felt the need to go out of your way to belittle what I have, I was very up front that I didn't have a lot but nevertheless wanted to know if it would be worth it. Other than that, much appreciated.
Posted by LNCHBOX
70448
Member since Jun 2009
84486 posts
Posted on 4/26/16 at 8:26 am to
quote:

Not sure why some of you felt the need to go out of your way to belittle what I have


I didn't take it as them belittling you. I took it as them telling you that a prenup is likely not worth your time and the expense and the headache it will likely cause. Getting engaged and married is supposed to be a happy time, and mucking that up over peanuts (relatively speaking) doesn't seem like a great idea.
Posted by hungryone
river parishes
Member since Sep 2010
11987 posts
Posted on 4/26/16 at 9:57 am to
quote:

Not sure why some of you felt the need to go out of your way to belittle what I have, I was very up front that I didn't have a lot but nevertheless wanted to know if it would be worth it.

You pointed out that you have something and she has nothing....but student loan debt. You're already "keeping score" in ways that will quickly corrode a marriage/partnership. You've got one foot out the door before you've even tied the knot. Like I said earlier, think long and hard about why you feel reluctance or trepidation about sharing everything with her 100%.
Posted by GFunk
Denham Springs
Member since Feb 2011
14967 posts
Posted on 4/26/16 at 10:12 am to
quote:

Tigerfan56
quote:

Appreciate the advice and knowledge everyone.


Actually, you don't.

quote:

Not sure why some of you felt the need to go out of your way to belittle what I have.


They're not belittling what you have. They're belittling both what you think of it and what you think of your spouse to be. It's off-putting and think of it this way...If your daughter was in her final year of Nursing School or getting her Teaching cert and had only student loans and a part-time job and was marrying a homeowner what had evidently about 3 years worth of retirement in a 401(k) and a car worth less than $10K acting like he was Sumner Redstone asking for financial advice about how to protect himself from your daughter in the event they didn't work out, how would you feel?

Seriously...I know you're young but try your best to divorce yourself (from this situation, brah) and look at it from the other angle.

Why do you feel like you need to protect so little? Do you know how easy it is to get a $10K car? Or to fund your 401(k) to make up what you've lost at your young age if it does go South? Or to buy another home?

So again...use some perspective here. You are confusing people making value judgements about your possessions when they are actually making value judgements about you as a person and your relative level of maturity.

What you will build with your wife is going to be worth far more-both from a tangible and intangible standpoint-that trying to "protect," a starter home, a POS car and a couple G's in a 401(k) that you should be way more worried about the employer or the markets going belly up and taking is silly.

You have an overinflated sense of your asset's importance, and at the same time, a truly underdeveloped sense of how much more vastly important your wife will be to the Matrimonial regime.

My LLC will be 51% controlled by my wife. My life insurance policy? She is the sole beneficiary. Same for my pension. Same for my office-life insurance policy. My checking and savings? Joint. My home? She's on the mortgage and title.

She needs to be your partner. Not someone you protect yourself from.

Wise up, Youngster. You're overthinking life wayyyyy too early.
Posted by JamalSanders
On a boat
Member since Jul 2015
12135 posts
Posted on 4/26/16 at 11:17 am to
quote:

Appreciate the advice and knowledge everyone. Not sure why some of you felt the need to go out of your way to belittle what I have, I was very up front that I didn't have a lot but nevertheless wanted to know if it would be worth it. Other than that, much appreciated.




My thoughts are that you and probably her will both earn millions of dollars over your working lives (20 years @ $50k/year = $1 mil) that trying to protect what you have earned ($50k) is more trouble than it is worth. I will be getting a pre-nup with the eventual Mrs. Sanders but the only thing that will be on it is what has been passed down from my grandfathers and my dad, and what she has been passed down from her family. To ME if I am truly going to try to make my marriage work I have to be willing to risk everything.
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